#<- defo part of the reasoning used at some point by either or both of avatrice

[electro-scorpion-moving]

hc that part of ava’s phasing with the halo training involved pillow fights with beatrice

[red-elric]

back at it again w classpect deepdives!!! i only did one of these before forgetting about it completely but i have some THOUGHTS ABOUT VOID LETS GO WOO!!!

so for starters: i used to never really subscribe to void and light being an inverse pair, key word USED TO. idr why exactly; part of it was i hadnt fully thought out what the other pairs would have to be, part of it was wanting doom to be lights inverse through similar logic that ppl apply to seers and mages being inverses. which, ironically, is also smth i dont consider to be true anymore BUT I DIGRESS. i now think of void and light as true inverses for a couple reasons. most obviously being the light vs dark thing that gets played up in the comic proper, esp w the lalondes. but theres entire dimensions of the two aspects that also have to fit, right? right.

lets look at light for a second. (i promise this is a void post.) the light players we have, rose vriska and aranea, all have classes that take light in its more..... nonliteral sense. its not about LITERAL LIGHT like an heir or a knight or a maid would use, its about LUCK and FATE and...... whatever the fuck is going on w araneas abilities. not really sure how her shit works but i think a large part of it is just..... aranea was able to justify how her power would work, so it does. and i think thats a big part of light as an aspect too; the NARRATIVE. all three light players are biiiig big players who assign importance to the roles they play and make sure everything they do is significant. and its about IMPROBABILITY too; its about the unlikely outcomes that are very lucky for the player that fit the narratives flow and, as such, become the only fated outcome for the hero. for light players, everything is a PERFORMANCE.

so, conversely, we look at void! roxy, equius, horuss..... lets ignore horuss tho bc we just dont know enough about him. (tho isnt that smth in itself, a void player fading into obscurity.... whatever.) theres defo some metaphorical interpretations of void going on in hs proper, but we cant ignore the more literal stuff either!! or.... i guess we can; void comes up a lot as a way to HIDE THINGS. equius's blood is used to block out text in rose's journal, hiding information from seers, both literal and those who do it more as a hobby (callie). roxy causes the cherub's viewports to blackout, and she is able to help callie's ghost hide in the void. equius and darkleer both are able to create dark spots in doc scratch's omniscience, notably hiding the cue ball from him (specifically FOR some light aligned folks!). following along w literal interpretations, theres two more things that jump out at me: one, the repeated references to void as 'nothingness' and two, the fact that the void symbol clearly references the space symbol, as the spaces in between space's spiral. space is pretty generally agreed on as the aspect of stuff, like all matter and distance and concepts in the three traditional dimensions and whatnot; by contrast, void would have to refer to the SPACE IN BETWEEN. kind of confusing terminology but like, on a universal scale, if 'space' refers to planets and stars and people and asteroids and whatnot, 'void' would be like..... the vacuum. the vast majority of the universe where all that 'space' stuff ISNT. coming back to the first point, the NOTHINGNESS. space has strong ties to life, too, or like.... natural evolution? reproduction? the whole frog thing. and in any universe, sustained life is extremely rare, improbable, lucky....... and here we are coming back to light again! now were getting somewhere! which leaves void as a reference to the PROBABLE, and the MUNDANE, because if you pick a random point in the universe to look at theres a 99% chance youre coming up with NOTHING. void :3

bringing this back to more abstract stuff! tho tbh thats kinda hard bc i think void is just..... generally more predisposed to the literal than light is, which would make sense; light wants to tell a good story, void just shows things as they are. but when you have a class like a rogue, that steals the void from shit, you start to turn things on their head a bit. stealing the void moves the balance a bit more towards light, in a way, so you have roxy able to do kind of what aranea and vriska do, in that they come up w a narrative of what they SHOULD be able to do and through that have the ability to do it. notably, roxy didnt come up w the idea herself, and was told she could do it; her natural voidy things were much more literal interpretations of the aspect. but i digress. a rogue of void can steal the nothingness from an idea and make it a real object. if we think of that in more light friendly terms, we have the rogue considering a concept...... an object that is VERY PROBABLY not real, or not here in the present moment or universe or whatever. the odds are astronomically low that roxy would have a matriorb in the alpha timeline, right? it doesnt make sense, that would be fantastical and improbable and would be something out of a narrative; thats a light thing. and thats exactly why roxy can make it happen; she takes that concept of her just HAVING the matriorb, and she removes the improbability from it, the mundane details of how it could possibly exist, and in turn, very luckily is able to create a real matriorb to give to kanaya. and the luck here is critical! kanaya comments many times on how impossible it seems to ensure the return of her race. and the rogue of void thing DOESNT work when condy demands it of her, as if its a given that roxy can do it; instead, it only works when shes under no pressure, but trying to be heroic for someone else, with callie aka the MUSE OF SPACE, a super powerful class that inspires others wrt space stuff, including life in a universal sense..... yeah, w that many narrative signals theres no way light wasnt going to show up w void being rogued away.

anyway. what does this all mean? not too much, just.... some things to consider when classpecting a void player :3 a void player blends into the background, doesnt feel like a hero or a main character, and has little to no association w fate or luck (even bad luck! bad luck is a doom thing, its also improbable. void is more neutral luck, the v probable concept of just being normal). they likely seem like a fairly cookie cutter member of whatever society theyre in (yes, even equius. most of the trolls were not standard trolls; he was the one to give us insight on actual troll culture and norms). theyre down to earth, in a sense, and may feel as though they cant let their true feelings show for the sake of more 'narratively important' characters. little to no association with life or nature, probably more scientifically inclined (tech, not bio). stuff like that

[hiveswap]

Ok sorry to do this again despite admitting I don't know shit the first time (I'm the "isn't it both" anon) but I had some more thoughts.

So, even tho being ex eastern bloc is defo relevant for certain analyses of current situations, I don't think it should play too hard into tryna determine whether a country you aren't from can be considered eastern Europe (tho i think it's valid to bring into it if it's about your own country probably? I am not a politically versed person) and one of the reasons I say this is that my mum is from Saxony which was part of the GDR.

The family had been preparing to leave for years and eventually did so a few months before reunification (kinda hilarious tbh) and I myself grew up in (former) western germany (tho i was born years after reuni anyway) so I never lived in the GDR or even in any former GDR states myself but my mother has always shared a lot of stories but that's besides the point.

And like... nobody is calling the ex GDR states (let alone germany as a whole) eastern Europe. There's even ppl who consider us western Europe (I think we're pretty firmly central but tbh western vs central as a distinction isn't as important (bc I do know central vs eastern carries a lot more weight n stuff) so I don't really care) despite part of our country having been eastern bloc. So when people (specifically non ex eastern bloc folks, you're obviously fine) use it as an argument it feels hypocritical.

And obviously ex GDR states had the support of other german states so it was much easier for them to recover but imo the modern day economics are way closer to helping determine whether a country is eastern Europe? Not geographically obvs but in my mind (feel free to correct me) eastern european is kinda like asian in that it shouldn't be an important distinction going by geography but in terms of politics and dynamics and stuff it very much is and it matters.

Like, eastern europeans, at least within Europe, dunno how true it is elsewhere, are kinda oppressed? Like, if I meet a western european (esp an english person) they're prolly not gonna be xenophobic to me when I tell them where I'm from but if I was like Belarusian or something, they might. And then there's the economic stuff and also like social progression.

I've heard a lot about eg LGBT rights in Hungary and stuff like that and no shade or anything ofc, especially to the LGBT ppl living there such as (i think?) yourself and the other Hungarians I follow, but it does feel a lot less progressive.

Things aren't perfect here either or anything but they're getting better, we've had marriage equality for same sex couples (not (all) nb or intersex ppl tho) for over half a decade, forced trans sterilisation was declared unconstitutional 12 years ago and we're finally getting that self-determination bill put into place next year and then I can get that d. D stands for diverse in this case, it's our third legal gender (tho we also have "none", none gender can't get married)

Meanwhile transitioning in Hungary was outlawed three years ago and there's plenty of other countries where it's still a struggle and all in all it just feels kinda... distinct? Like how scandinavian (or nordic in general) countries feel like they're on a different economic and societal level from us(excl), the latter especially in regards to sexism, education and incarceration but also other stuff.

Obvs there's always so many factors but it's always felt to me like they were, forgive me for simplifying, the "higher" tier of europeans in at least those areas compared to my life in central Europe. Grass is always greener somewhere I guess. But I'm gonna get back on track.

So even tho geographically it's hard to argue that Hungary isn't central Europe, I think it might be politically. And it's not the only country that feels like this to me, like eg Romania is geographically southeast but politically I personally view it as firmly eastern tho obvs I'm no authority.

Anyway, sorry this got so long lmao I have not been awake for long yet and my brain's a little squished lol. Hope this wasn't a completely useless read, sorry if it was. Keep on keeping on 👍

Oh hi i got scared for a sec when i saw that i got a whole block of text. I'm not really up to politics talk rn, but what you're saying makes a lot of sense to me!! Though i havent seen anyone consider romania central before, i've always thought of the border between us as the edge of central europe. Probably because of the timezone difference ngl

[goddessofroyalty]

Hey weird question what do you think the kids' jobs are when they grow up in your au's? I mean in Zaun family I guess they technically don't have to work, they could just live off of Silco's income lol but they don't strike me as the type to mooch like that

I think Vi, like in the games, takes up some kind of Enforcer role WITHIN the Lanes rather than in Piltover, cus on one hand acab but the other, she cares ABT her home. I wouldn't say she's like sheriff or anything, but definitely plays a vital role in the Enforcers functioning in the Undercity (helped there in no small part by Wifey Caitlyn)

I actually think Claggor is the one most likely to end up running the bar once Vander steps down, just cus he's like. The most normal and well adjusted (and in part cus of a theory I read ages ago, saying he was the one meant to take over the Lanes as a whole because he was levelheaded and mature, while Vi would have taken a more hotheaded second role like Benzo. Idk it's all alleged). Also idk why but I can't get it out of my head that Claggor becomes a carpenter for some reason. Lol

I'd reckon Jinx/Powder does engineering work, either for the Firefights or her own thing, or maybe even as a part of Hextech. Bombs are still her special interest ofc but she's got a wide variety of skills now that she puts to use

Now Mylo is where I'm stumped, lol. He so has the vibe of like, a kid who wanted to join a gang cus he thought it was cool, but Silco and Vander would never allow it. I defo think he goes travelling for a few years but after that... Zilch. Maybe he's just a chill stay at home dad/partner, the exact opposite of everything he wanted growing up lol

Idk why I made this so long. Half cus I want your thoughts on my hcs, and half cus I wanna hear you're own I guess!

While yes they could live off Silco's income I do think Silco a little bit saw (and therefore raised) his children as a future investment into Zaun's leadership. They aren't fixing all the problems in one generation so in his mind it was always going to be passed down to them to keep going. He absolutely plays to each individual kids strengths (for example he was never going to even try to make a politicial out of Vi but he did probably contemplate trying to get Viktor to go down that path before Hextech) but yeah they were all going to end up with Important Jobs. Plus, you know, I think they all would feel bad if they didn't have jobs - too much like the Piltites who lived off Zaun's labour - they want to help their people as well.

Vi I completely agree ends up in an policing-style role however I think she ends up in charge of Zaun's equivilent to the Enforcers. It's their "see we don't need you here as a our police force because we have our own that will work with you (until we gain independence and then it means we don't have to create a whole police force)". It gets the Enforcers and their antaognistic presense off their streets while also keeping Piltover happy as at least Zaun is still being policed (and, you know, being the group people do call when there's an Incident who will actually help de-escalate it). Which of course means once they're older her and Caitlyn (who ends up Piltover's sheriff) solve a lot of situations that could blow up between the two cities at the dining room table. Is that technically corruption of both police forces? Absolutely. But much like her parents before her it's corruption that mostly helps Zaun so she isn't losing sleep over it.

The bar does get inherited to Claggor's branch of the family tree but I feel like it's more a... his family gets it after Vander passes (probably because they had been working it at the end before Vander passes). But by that point Claggor's kids are like adults themselves so it feels weird to say Claggor inherits it because it's kind of all of them (including Claggor's mate) and it's almost a semi-retirement job for Claggor himself. Claggor definitively goes into some construction trade in my head. And whichever of those trades he goes into there's a lot of stuff in Zaun that's built by him (so if he goes into plumbing for example most of the main sewage system is his work, if he does into infrastructure a lot of the buildings during that period are his work). There's a lot of infrastructure that gets build during that time generally (Zaun finally having the money thanks to Silco + Hextech plus Silco and Vander's ideas of an independent Zaun needing a things built to achieve) and it feels right that one of the kids ends up having a big hand in it.

I have to do Powder and Jinx separately because in this verse she very much creates two identities under those two names. 'Powder' is the excentric mate to Ekko (who takes over Vander's spot as kind of politically recognised leader of Zaun) which makes sense to Piltover seeing she was very much Silco's Princess growing up and while they know she does something as a job nobody can pin down what it is (although they do probably all assume Hextech because she is clearly mechanically minded). Jinx is, at least until Silco dies, the Eye of Zaun's (favourite) agent and generally is involved in the more criminal/terrorist parts of gaining Zaun's freedom. Silco tries to groom her to take over as Eye of Zaun when he passes but I don't know if she ever fully proves capable of that specific role (but she's like 40+ when he passes so she might be). She's a bit of a wild-card in the family - sometimes she's helping build the new infrastructure Zaun needs, other times she's building new weapons to ensure Zaun has the firepower it needs to protect its interests, and othertimes it's Hextech she's working on (so yes I agree does engineering work just a bit via whatever has her interest at That Exact Moment than having one group she specifically works with).

Mylo is probably the child I think Silco most actively grooms. Like I said earlier he was a little eyeing off Viktor to go into politics (to take over as Zaun Representative) but then Viktor went hard on the science and created Hextech and Silco decides that that is an even better option for him. But then he kind of scans over the other kids and settles on Mylo as the new possible Zaun Representative. Which, if Mylo clearly had no interest in it Silco would drop the plan and find something else for him (and someone else for the role) but... Mylo doesn't really have a strong pull in any other direction so he kind of just falls into falling into line with Silco's want. I will add that Silco doesn't give up Zaun Representative until he dies so Mylo has a lot of years to travel and probably represent Zaun's interests more broadly before taking on the role in his 40s.

There's a bit of a joke that Crisis in Zaun = Family Reunion because of how much all of them end up being the Top Dog in their respective field in Zaun.

I also got long there haha. It's interesting how much we lined up on a lot of things.

[violettelueur]

GOJO SATORU + GETO SUGURU || NEVER MEANT TO BE

| featuring : gojo satoru and geto suguru from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : mentions of murder, manga spoilers and grammar errors

| form : imagine

| word count : 1704

| published : 15 November 

| request : hellloooo i hope this doesnt sound confusing but tbh im just requesting this since no one requested sum from the manga. how about something like reader arriving at the train station as gojo gets trapped in the prison realm in around chapter 90-91? like shes a shaman and she see geto and has a flashback cuz gojo her and geto were like past buddies? and to think someone could bind gojo?

| barista’s notes : for the people that haven’t read the manga, I would recommend you reading it first before reading this imagine because it has some MAJOR spoilers and I dont think you’ll understand it either way ʅʕ•ᴥ•ʔʃ but defo read it if you haven't, it’s amazing! but moving on from that i hope that you love your order of a cup of black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request)!

Rushing down the stairs of Tokyo Metro, you were trying to get to floor B5F where Gojo was last noted before you heard about the information that he was somehow sealed. With the help of the three other groups that were around the area, you were able to get through the shields that surrounded Shibuya to get to where you needed to be.

You were exhausted. Not physically but mentally as you didn’t know what to expect at all. The second you heard of Gojo’s report on curses forming alliances with each other, you thought he was just bluffing at first and to be honest, his ridiculous drawing wasn't helping with his case either. However, he was someone that you knew you could trust extremely, it had always been like that since both of you became students at Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College.

With your katana hanging from the side of your hip, you quickly jumped to the bottom on the stairs to save precious time before quickly turning the right corner to see what was the whole situation. However, once your hand was on the handle of your sword, your eyes widened in shock from what was right in front of you. 

‘Isn’t he supposed to be dead? That's not him is it?’

What was in your sights now was something that was technically impossible. He was supposed to be dead, there was no way he was alive sitting on the station floor. There were no such possibilities for him to be sitting with his back turned to you right now.

Geto Suguru.

                                                 ꕥ

You, Gojo, Geto and Ieiri were standing in front of the now-destroyed house due to Gojo using his technique to free both Utahime and Mei Mei from the house that they have been investigating for the two past days. 

“Don’t you think that was a little too much Gojo,” you commented with an awkward giggle as you saw tiny to large pieces falling to the ground, leading to your second-year friend saying, “I don’t think it was too much Y/N-chan, besides how could I have impressed you if I didn't take the opportunity to?”

“I shouldn’t have asked part one...” you quickly muttered, before Gojo started to tease Utahime, who was in the middle of the rubble that was created by your flirtatious friend himself.

“Satoru, it’s not nice to pick on the weak,” Geto suddenly commented, before using one of his spirits to devour the curse that suddenly appeared behind Utahime, only for Gojo to state, “who the heck’s gonna pick on someone strong? You’re the one teasing her without even knowing it Geto,” causing your other friend to now to realise what he had said. 

No longer being able to handle both of them, you quickly turned your attention to Utahime and asked, “Utahime, are you okay?”. This small but kind gesture of yours caused the grade-two jujutsu sorcerer, to say your name with such glee before you continued with, “we were worried about you since you didn't call for two days” to which only led the woman to pull you into a tight hug.

‘I shouldn’t have asked part two….I’m legit getting no air’

“Y/N don’t you dare become trash like those two, okay?”

“I’ll try my best”

However, this happy and hilarious moment had to sudden halt when Mei Mei suddenly asked, “where’s the curtain?” causing you, Gojo, Geto and Ieiri to look at her with dumbfounded expressions on your faces.

‘Ahhhhhh shi-’

                                              ꕥ

“There’s someone here who said they put up a curtain and then up and left the auxiliary manager behind and forgot about the curtain too”

At this moment and time, all four of you were on your knees in front of your sensei Masamichi Yaga, as he found out from the news that was shown on the TV above that someone *cough*Gojo*cough* forgot to put up a curtain up like him and Mei Mei stated.

“Fess up”

“Sensei! We’re better than pointing fingers at each other,” Gojo randomly commented, as he raised his hand up to emphasise his point. On the other hand, you, Geto and Ieiri had other plans and all pointed at Gojo for this mishap that had occurred without him realising.

“So it’s you!” your teacher shouted, before landing a strong punch on top of your friend’s head, causing you to know to never mess with your teacher anytime soon. 

Even though it wasn’t the best time, you and Geto let out a sly giggle before looking at each other, which only led to both of you laughing, even more, the second you stepped out of the room. As chaotic all four of you were, you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

However, it was never meant to be.

                                               ꕥ

“Hey!”

Turning to your right, you saw your friend Geto wave at you with a bright smile on his face. To the outsider, it just seemed like two friends meeting with each other or friends that just casually bumped into each other in the crowded streets. On the other hand, it wasn’t that.

Geto was a criminal on the run. You were just informed by your teacher that your friend massacred a whole village as well as the possibilities of his parents. You didn’t want to believe it. Of course, you couldn’t believe it. Geto wasn’t that type of person, he wasn’t like that at all during your time at Jujutsu high together, were the three years a facade?

“Yo, it’s the criminal” you teasingly greeted him, trying to hide your dejection from his view, “you need something from me?”

“I guess I’m just testing my luck” Geto replied back before taking a stand next to you. From your side perspective, you could see what Gojo was talking about a while back. Your longtime friend looks thinner than he did a year ago, you could clearly see the bags in his eyes indicating that he hadn’t had any sleep the past few days. It was like that ever since the killing of the Star Plasma Vessel, a mission that you, Gojo and Geto failed at.

“I’m gonna ask just to be sure, but are those false charges?” you quietly asked, hoping that all this was a lie, a stupid cruel prank that was set up by someone. However, you knew somewhere in your heart that this was the reality that you were in, there was no escaping from this one.

“Nah, unfortunately not”

“Again to be sure, why?” you quietly questioned him, trying to conceal the tears that were threatening to flow down your face.

“I’ll create a world where only shamans exist,” Geto calmly answered, causing you to snap your head in his direction. A world where only shamans exist? What more stupid of a reason he could give you?

“That’s hilarious,” you stated, before you slowly carried on with, “if humans were eliminated, we shamans wouldn’t even have a purpose at all, your reasoning is the most stupid thing I ever heard in my life Geto,”

Geto turned to look at you, only to find you casually open your phone to call Gojo on your sightings on your friend.

“However, I hope that you’re happy now that you're choosing this path. I really hope you get what I’m saying and you don’t live to regret,” you stated, as you place your device next to your ear. “I hope you're happy in the end my friend, that’s all I’m asking for,” you ended your statement before Gojo was on the other side of the line.

“Thank you Y/N”

“Gojo, I met Geto in Shinjuku”

“Did you question him? Did you kill him?”

“I didn’t…...have the heart to Gojo, I’m sorry”

There was nothing but silence between the both of you which gave you the chance to look to your right, only to see that your friend had disappeared from your side. As if he wasn’t there in the first place.

“Hey Gojo...it was never meant to be ha?” you rhetorically asked, as a single tear slowly slid down your face.

                                              ꕥ

Geto Suguru was right there in front of you. Sitting on the ground on the train station with his back turned to you.

However, as much as you wanted to believe that it was true, you knew that it wasn’t really him.

It was just impossible.

Taking your katana out of its black wooden sheath, you were preparing for any attacks that could happen around you right now before you could begin to question who the person in front of you was.

“Who are you?”

The man turned around, slowly showing the face of a man that was someone that was close to both you and Gojo all those years back causing you to look at the person that was in front of you with sorrowful eyes. You wished it was him. But as you said, it was never meant to be.

“Y/N! I'm not surprised that you were able to get through all those shields, you are powerful like Satoru after all,” the man happily commented with the same smile that you missed so dearly.

“I said who are you?!” you repeated in a firmer tone, telling the person that you weren’t playing around anymore as you raised your katana, making the sharp pointed tip to be in level with his face - even if he was far in distance.

“Come on, is that how you greet an old friend?”

“How the hell did you get the Prison Realm within your possession?” you asked, as you looked down at the small cube that Gojo was supposedly in. How such a small thing was able to seal such a powerful shaman like Gojo? You would never know.

“Y/N, we were in the same team for three years, I would assume you know I’m able to get what I need, I am Geto after all,”

“Shut up!” you shouted, surprising the person from your sudden outburst. “I’m not stupid, so don’t you dare play with me for even a second”

“I know you’re not Geto”

“Me and Gojo knew that from the start”

“It wasn’t meant to be”

[gt-ridel]

Several hundred words of Half-Life Borrower!AU goodness

(Hi, this is Passportinspection!) Oooh goodness. I actually started writing this as an ask. I really thought what I had to say would fit into an ask. Since sending that anon about having 350 words of thoughts, I ended up getting distracted for a few hours, and then when I came back to this, I apparently had 400 more words to say. I just love rambling what-ifs about AUs. :’>

_

Hi Passportinspection!  Sorry it took so long to reply to this. I had more work than I thought yesterday. >__< I totally agree! Rambling about what-ifs is WAY more fun than actually writing a story. ;;>__> _

These are… not all A-list ideas, and I was very tempted to cut it down to the best bits, BUT I know that if someone said to me “I had 5 ideas for your au but only told you the 2 good ones” I would be extremely interested in hearing the 3 bad ones anyway, so… here it all is. This was written pretty stream-of-consciousness and then rearranged a bit to form my pinballing thoughts into something a little more linear, but, fair warning, it wasn’t edited much beyond that.

_ Ooo, I absolutely want to hear everything! All ideas, good and bad! Are you kidding? (Gets comfy) _

I keep thinking about the end of that “gordon takes borrower!barney with him through the events of HL1” scenario; Imagining gman’s speech at the end, I like the idea of him saying something like, “As for your.. /passenger/..” and both of their bloods running cold. I can’t decide if I’d rather barney actually go into stasis with gordon or not I think it could be an interesting/cute concept- the idea that gman/his employers figured barney was enough of a factor in gordon’s success that they thought it would be wise to keep them together for future “assignments.”

_ Bro I'll be honest, I hadn't gotten that far in the AU because I still haven't finished the game. My only reference for G-man is Mr. Coolatta. So I'll have to at least look the ending up on youtube before I'll be able to give my informed opinion.  But taking it as is?  That would be freaking terrifying. They've met some other scientists and security guards during their escape, but the HEV helmet was a perfect hiding place. None of them ever noticed that Gordon wasn't alone.  But somehow this reality bending creep knows, and it looks like he's not going to let Barney and Gordon just go home, which was basically what they were fighting for the whole time.  _

I’m also thinking about, like.. With Barney in Gordon’s helmet with him, Gordon must be able to feel him tense up and hear his breathing speed up whenever something particularly scary/dangerous happens, maybe even at times faintly feel the fluttering of his heart, and it strengthens his resolve to make it out of there bc it’s not just himself he’s saving. 🥺 Also Barney can provide running commentary, which perhaps soothes both of their nerves a little. Maybe he even helps with some puzzles. :> I also think it’s funny/convenient that that would work really well for an actual video game format. A friend that’s with you wherever you go that sees everything you see but can’t interact with the world but provides commentary and occasional helpful tips? That fits in nicely!

  _ Ha! Something I was thinking about was how Barney has spent his whole life living in the vents and such. He would probably be a perfect guide for Gordon. :3 As for Gordon feeling when Barney gets tense or scared and that fuling his drive to escape, that was ABSOLUTELY one of the reasons I wanted Barney in the helmet.  It would be uncomfortable, inconvenient, and down right dangerous sometimes. But you cannot deny the unique opportunities for deeper emotional exploration it would present. _

…But also, now that I think about it, maybe there are parts where the only way forward is for Barney to slip through a crack in a blockaded doorway and use a control panel that opens another door- that sort of thing. He gets to help with more than just talking sometimes! :> Oh, dang, imagine the part where gordon gets jumped and almost killed by the military. Poor Barney. D: Maybe a factor in Gordon escaping the trash compactor before it crushes him is Barney frantically trying to wake him up.

_ I was defo hyperfixating on what the whole beat down would be like from Barney's perspective a few days ago! Gordon would be at an extra disadvantage in the fight because he'd have to be careful not to accidentally bash Barney between his skull and the helmet while he's being smacked around.  Imagine Barney being tossed all over the small space, maybe ending up pinned when Gordon finally passes out. Noticing when a small stream of blood starts leaking from his friends mouth and soaking into his clothes. Gordon is completely helpless, and so is Barney as he hears the soldiers talking about what they're going to do with the body.  I just think that whole scene and the escape from the trash compactor would be so fun and exciting~ -

Also, unrelated, but I wonder how barney would wake up in city 17, if he did go into stasis with gordon. That is, since gordon is wearing a citizen outfit when he comes out of stasis, barney obviously can’t be in the helmet anymore. Maybe gman elects to move barney to a pocket somewhere instead lol. I’m imagining as soon as gordon is released from whatever effect gman had him under and he’s able to move again, he starts patting himself down looking for Barney (the same way one does when they forget which pocket their phone is in ), bc last he knew Barney was right up against his face and now he’s /not/, and that man SAID they’d be “hired” as a team so /where is he/ because Gordon needs to know he’s /okay/. As Barney is released from the same effect, he probably moves and makes himself apparent, so it’s only for like a second that Gordon is doing that.

_ Once again, I can't speak much to what would happen in a HL2 continuation of this story, but that sounds about right for an initial reaction scene.  Imagine Barney just coming out of it and being in some sort of... bag? being jostled around? He feels a giant hand pat over him from outside and he grunts in surprise. Then the hand rests against him and Barney realizes he's in a humans breast pocket, being held against someones chest as beside him a thundering heart slowly begins to calm. He figures this must be Gordon. He doesn't KNOW any other humans, and he can't imagine that man in the suit would be all that concerned about Barney's wellbeing.  _ 

Barney doesn’t know where they are/who else is out there at all ‘cause he can’t see from where he is, and Gordon can feel him shifting to lean out of the pocket and get a look, and he just puts a hand over the pocket, covering the opening in the process, and applies a gentle pressure for a couple moments, and Barney knows that means he needs to stay put because it’s not safe to come out yet. Thankfully Barney heard Gman talking to Gordon and addressing him by name, so he doesn’t have to worry about whose pocket he just woke up in. He would probably somewhat recognize Gordon’s gait/the feel of his hands at that point, too. As for how Gordon avoids boarding the train to Nova Prospekt without canon barney there to stop him, I have no idea.

  _ YEAAAH that is a good point. Barney is kind of vital for that role. Maybe we can slot a different character into his place. ^__^;; _

Oooh, going back a bit, maybe when the nihilanth is teleporting gordon around in the boss level, or from the very beginning when gordon jumps into the portal to Xen, they get teleported separately and end up in different places? (Ignoring for a moment the parts with portals in Black Mesa ^^;) That sure is an additional level of distress for the both of them during the Big Final Level(s). And then perhaps at the end, part of gman’s speech can be like, “As for your.. companion, you can rest assured he was recovered safe and sssound. After all, you two performed so well, together, it would be ideal to hire you as, a team.” Or whatever

_ Imagine Barney, stranded and alone on Xen, desperately trying to find Gordon, and having his OWN creepy G-man encounter. :U _

Our Barney AUs differ in some exciting ways and it’s fun to play in someone else’s sandbox for a while. :p I’ll probably cut my notes doc down into something readable and post it sometime in the near-ish future.. Either that or actually write the dang fic.

_ I would absolutely LOVE to hear about your AU too! So if you do either of those things, be sure to @ me!  Thank you so much for playing in this sandbox with me. I am ALWAY down to talk Borrower AU stuff. It's just so much dang fun! ^0^

[goldenkookietae]

Cosy Creams | JJK

BTS one shot

Pairing: Colleague!Jungkook x reader

Word count: 4,173 words

Warnings: Fluff, cute

Summary:  It’s your first time on a date with your office colleague / crush and you are beyond nervous. When a dashing Jungkook turns up at your door, you could never have imagined an exhilarating ride and a delicious treat for the sweet tooth you’ve got.

A/N: I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but I really really liked this one while writing it. And I am defo going to write more parts. This Jungkook is just too boyfriend material.

Disclaimer: This story is an AU fanfiction that I have created using the names of the members of BTS. I do not claim any ownership over the members of BTS. The plot and the personalities of the characters are entirely my own.

Do not plagiarize my work and do not repost.

*

Moodboard

*I do not claim ownership over any of the pictures. They are credited to their original owners.

She leaned closer to the mirror, as she struggled to get her eyeliner perfectly. It wasn’t every day that Y/N decided to glam up for a night out. But this wasn’t just one of those regular weekend parties that she was reluctantly dragged to by her best friend. This one she had agreed to on her own, perhaps even suggested it. As if the effort coming from her side hadn’t already been enough, for the first time in so many years, she had actually wanted to dress up.

It wasn’t as though the date was fancy. He had asked her to dress up casually and she was more than thankful that he’d suggested that. But that didn’t necessarily mean that she was going to go make up free. Just casual make up would do. That included BB, mascara, eyeliner and some light lip gloss. Nothing too special.

“Crap! There goes my seventh attempt at symmetrical eyeliner. Just why do we have to put this shit on?” she cursed.

“Sweetheart, you know you have the choice of totally skipping it, don’t you?” her best friend leaned against her door frame, a box of strawberries in his hand while he bit into one.

“Thanks a lot Hoseok, that’s making me feel so much better.” She huffed before setting down the stick and slumping onto the bed with her typical eye roll.

“Now, there there, kid. You don’t have to get so down about it. I can help you put it on.” Hoseok smiled as he pat her head, loving the way her eyes lit up.

“But I don’t see the point in it because you’ll look like Winnie the pooh either way.” He laughed, also loving the frown she gave him.

“I hate you.” She muttered laying back on the soft sheets and staring up at the ceiling.

“Nothing ever works out with any crush of mine. Not even eyeliner. What has my life become?” Y/N sighed as she extended her hand upward and then dropped it down onto her stomach.

Hoseok chuckled at his little drama queen for a best friend. “Come on now, you didn’t really expect anything out of your crush over Scarlett Johansson, did you?”

“It still broke my heart.” Y/N replied in the same gloomy tone.

Hoseok simply grinned before he caught her arms tight and pulled her into a sitting position.

“Now let’s get you ready for this date that’s making you this dramatic. What was his name again? Jungmin?”

“Jungkook.” Y/N snapped her eyes to Hoseok instantly, giving him a small glare. “And why’re you acting like you don’t know him, you guys are practically glued to each other all the time.”

“Awww is that making you jealous?” Hoseok cooed, pinching her cheek only for his hand to get slapped away.

“Alright I’ll stop. I’m serious now. It’s quarter to eight already.”

“Already? He’s gonna be here in fifteen minutes and I’m still a mess! Argh!” Y/N shrieked, clutching her hair with a hand.

“Sweetheart, you got nothing to worry about when your hope is right here.” Hoseok nods as he points to himself and then fixes her with an intense stare.

“Time for Mission: Jungoo Jaw Drop, now in progress.”

“It’s Jungkook.” Y/N groaned, receiving a ‘tsk’ in response as Hoseok picked up the eyeliner from where she had left it.

What could be the reason for all this drama, one might ask. She scoffed and rolled her eyes at how cliché she was being. Her mind going back to the times she would crush over the popular guys in high school. This time was no different. The only things that had changed were that, she was no longer a student, but an intern and the guy she was crushing on was a colleague from her workplace.

While she pondered over her three-month-old crush, she was snapped back to reality when Hoseok shook her shoulders.

“Y/N? The doorbell just went off, I think it’s-”

“Jungkook.” She whispered, before looking into the mirror frantically.

 “Why do you sound like aliens are out to get you? Relax, it’s just a date. He’ll be drooling all over you trust me.” Hoseok held her shoulders and in that moment Y/N felt as though he was transferring energy to her.

It wasn’t her first time going out with him, they’d hung out together multiple times before and even been alone together. However, it was the first time, they had labelled this as a date. That was what made her nervous.

“You’re right, let’s go.” Y/N huffed, marching towards the door and pausing right before as she calmed herself and slowed down. As soon as she opened the door, she could hardly keep herself from blushing and looking away under his intense gaze.

“Y/N, you look beautiful.” Jungkook muttered, biting his lower lip making her swoon. Regaining her composure, she scanned him from head to toe shamelessly, taking in his attire. Black shirt, ripped jeans hugging his figure and a red leather jacket that gave him a ragged look.

Deep in her mind, she tried to match his outfit to hers. A dark blue ruffle blouse paired with blue jeans and black coat. Not that she could find anything similar.

Surprisingly, some of her confidence came back. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” She smiled, raising an eyebrow. Jungkook grinned, “Well, I’m glad. Exactly what I was aiming for.”

They stared at each other for a while, their cheeks hurting with how much they were smiling and how much they were trying to not let that show.

“Ahem.” Both heads towards Hoseok leaning against a wall sipping what Y/N assumed was coffee.

“Hi Hyung.” Jungkook waved and Hoseok waved back. When nothing more happened, Hoseok sighed and made a shooing movement with his hand. “You both should get your asses out now.”

“Yes, right. Shall we?” Jungkook smiled, taking her hand and leading her out into the cold night. She mentally pat herself on the back for adding on a coat, learning from past experiences.

And when their ride came into view, she could feel the excitement burst through her veins. She was taken aback the first time she had seen it, having never travelled on a motorcycle before. But once she got a taste of it, she realised nothing else could bring her the same thrill. To add to that, nothing topped off riding on the motorcycle, sitting behind him, holding onto his waist and feeling the warmth pass from his torso to her body.

While she was busy reliving the feel of it, Jungkook had already mounted their sweet ride and was now grinning at her. “Hop on.” He knew she loved it.

She staggered towards him slowly, taking in how drool worthy he looked sitting there on a Harley Davidson. Her eyes slipped down to his thighs, the muscle straining against the taut material of his jeans. His sharp features made him stand out even when he wasn’t trying to. Before she could get on however, he caught her wrist and pulled her to face him.

“Here.” He pulled out the helmet resting on the handle, and fit it onto her head, clicking the buckles into place under her chin. The first time she’d refused saying it would ruin her hair. That was when Jungkook had taken it upon himself to put it on her every time she rode with him. “Safety first.” He’d said. She had never since complained.

“Now, get on.” He said, putting on his own helmet. And unlike her first time, she had now mastered the art of getting onto a motorcycle without falling down. She gripped his shoulders, feeling the muscles flex underneath and flung her leg onto the other side, lowering herself slowly onto the raised hump. Satisfied, she slipped her hands around his waist and held tight. Maybe this was one of the reasons she loved the ride so much.

Jungkook had noticed on their previous rides that Y/N never really talked much during their ride, he watched her from the mirror, her head tilted upwards a little and if he focused, he could also see her eyes closed. She just simply enjoyed the rides and it made him smile. Sometimes, late in the night, when the roads where empty, she’d take off her helmet and press her forehead to his back and he could feel her letting go of whatever stress she was going through for that moment. That made his heart soar and made him glad he’d bought the Harley.

He kept checking on her in the mirror, telling her usually to hold on tighter because there was a bump in the road or he just wanted to feel her against him and other times he stayed quiet, content with the fact that she was enjoying the ride. The fact that she only had him to take her on such rides made him want to show her more of such things. The normal parts of his life had suddenly become special because of her and he just hoped she wouldn’t ever tire of them, or him. When he spotted their destination getting closer, he sighed knowing he’d miss the feel of her holding on tight to him.

“Kavanah.” Y/N read out loud as she got off the bike, taking in the cosy vibes from the place. Jungkook was standing beside her now and she felt his hand touch her back subtly guiding her through the gates.

“This place has the best brownies you could ever find. Since you love them so much.” He stated, biting his lip at how her eyes sparkled. It wasn’t as though she had told him that, but it would be stupid to miss.

A month ago, Jungkook had joined his first job after an internship, along with seven others. Three from the bunch were interns, and he had never met them until they were all sent off to a different city for a new joiner induction training. Five days, they were together in the same hotel, walking to another hotel where the training was held and having dinner at whichever restaurant came on the way back to the hotel. Not to miss all the late nights they were out, simply walking through the quiet place or street shopping.

Every supper meal they’d had on the trip ended with ice cream and brownies at the request of Y/N. Wasn’t really hard to figure out that she loved them.

Jungkook took her hand and led her into the brightly lit place, glancing at the display of a variety of delicious cakes. Straight past the brightly lit place he led her to the end, pulling open the glass door for her and following her as she stepped out.

The place was beautiful, the entire space was open to the sky, covered in green, lit only by twinkling lights hanging on the trees and the lamps set on each table. The benches were made out of wood and every table was separated from the others by enough distance to not be overheard. A cool breeze ruffled their clothes making her shiver and Jungkook stepped in front of her holding the sides of her coat and pulling them together tighter.

The urge of taking care of her came to Jungkook so naturally he could say it was a reflex or an instinct. He often felt it was because he was older than her by about four years. At the same time, he also thought that sometimes it was an instinct to take care of and protect what was his.

Together they headed to the table and Y/N was ready to burst when he pulled out the chair for her, giving her a soft smile and heading over to sit down across her. Something about Jungkook being so gentle always amazed her. One would think he was one of those bad boys, showing her tricks on how to finish up work faster, wearing leather jackets, ripped jeans, biting lips, intense gazes and riding a bad ass motorcycle. But then, there was also him, putting a helmet on her for safety, pulling her coat tighter against the cold, holding her hand while walking on the streets, giving her soft smiles and hugs.

“You’re going to just stare at me or you’re going to order something?” Jungkook asked suddenly and that was when Y/N noticed a menu sitting on the table right under her nose. Jungkook was already looking through his and she bowed her head in embarrassment.

“Ye-, Yeah.” she stuttered opening up the menu and looking through all the colorful pictures. Y/N realised that with all the preparation she had done for this date, she had completely forgotten about feeding herself.

“Have you decided on something?” she asked him, looking up from her menu to see him flipping through the same pages over and over again.

“No. Have you?” Jungkook asked her and she nodded. She had in fact decided on a dish but there was a small complication.

“But. The problem is the serving they’re offering is too much and I won’t be able to finish it.” she blushed, her eyes slipping to the menu by instinct.

To further her embarrassment Jungkook laughed out loud and clear before shaking his head. “Baby, you don’t have to worry about that, I’ll share with you okay? Order whatever you want.” he smiled.

After a mumbled okay, Y/N placed her order and waited for Jungkook to place his, but he simply sent the waiter away.

While they waited, Jungkook asked her how she liked the new city, having only moved there three months ago. While she hadn’t really toured much owing to her work habits and the need for lazying every weekend, she could come to a conclusion that life in this new city was quite hectic. Every morning she’d have to travel an hour to reach office, while back in her quiet hometown, such time would get you to the outskirts of the city. Being new to the corporate world in a new city with new people was very nerve wracking and she was still getting used to it. Jungkook listened to her patiently and gave her hilarious reactions and she could never forget the shock on his face when she’d told him that back in her home town the maximum time one could be stuck in traffic was five minutes tops.

“No way! Are there even people in your hometown?!” He said, with his jaw hanging low and eyes the size of a bunny.

She laughed and continued with such stories and hadn’t even realised when the food was served. She was so fascinated with the way his eyes seemed to be fixed into hers, and the way he seemed so interested in just listening to her. It was when he’d raised his eyebrows and asked her, “How is it?” had she realised that he’d fed her a spoon from the dish she had ordered and was asking her how she’d liked it.

Her cheeks flushed a deep red, because of the fact that Jungkook had just fed her when she hadn’t even realised and also because she couldn’t remember what it tasted like because she was so mesmerized by the chocolate eyes she was looking at.

“It’s really good.” she muttered anyway and Jungkook gave her a knowing smile before picking up the spoon and taking a bite as well. It must’ve tasted really good as his eyes lit up and he quickly stuffed himself with another loaded spoon.

“Here.” he fed her more spoonfuls and Y/N didn’t feel awkward in the slightest. If she had thought he couldn’t be much more of a gentlemen before, she thought this was the most endearing thing that could ever happen to her. At one point she had picked up her own spoon and started feeding herself because Jungkook seemed keen on feeding her the entire thing and he looked as though he was full just by watching her.

The meal before them finished in no time and Jungkook ordered for another serving which Y/N thought might’ve have happened anyway. She knew Jungkook had a huge appetite and if she was being completely honest, she absolutely loved that fact. It was something she had gotten from her mother, cooking in huge quantities and feeling the ultimate satisfaction when people would still lick the dishes clean. In a moment of teenage fantasy, she imagined cooking for him while he watched her from across the kitchen counter.

The second serving arrived in lesser time and Y/N had to keep reminding Jungkook to eat because he was so excited in telling her about Tomorrow’s land that he wanted to visit one day.

“Yes, the party is so huge and the music is crazy! And the theme is different every year. How awesome is that? One day I’m going to save enough money to go there!” He exclaimed while Y/N nodded. She wasn’t really a huge fan of partying, but if Jungkook ever did go to this event, she wished she would too, just so she could see his eyes sparkling in excitement.

And like that they’d finished the entire meal and Y/N felt a fuzzy warmth building inside her. “Now, it’s time to satisfy the sweet tooth you’ve got.” Jungkook grinned, taking her hand and pulling her back into the brightly lit store of Kavanah. She immediately skid over to the huge display of pastries, ogling at each and failing to decide on one. A whole minute later, Jungkook nudged her shoulder and chuckled.

“Have you settled on one yet?” He asked, his eyes glancing to the display. Her eyes instantly found the mouth watering mud cake sat inside the air conditioned display and she practically drooled.

Pulling away, she tossed him a look. “Guess which one I’m thinking of getting.” she grinned. Jungkook’s eyebrows shot up in a challenge and he slowly skimmed through all the options in front of him, until his eyes found one.

“This one, the blueberry cheese cake.” He said, and Y/N couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed. She shook her head softly.

“Oh, my bad.” Jungkook chuckled before pulling out a menu from the counter. “But I do know, what you would like to have more than these.” he handed her the menu and Y/N’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god, how can I get a pastry when they have sundaes here!” she squealed and Jungkook stared at her fondly. While her order was the quickest thing ever, Jungkook noticed how she was shifting her weight from one foot to the other and he just knew that she was tired at that point.

“Hey, I’ll get this. Why don’t you go wait at the table, you left your purse there so you should be looking out for it. And I don’t want anyone stealing our seats.” He suggested, knowing she’d never agree if he told her to sit down because he knew she was tired.

As expected her eyes grew wide when realisation dawned. A few minutes after their order was placed in front of him, he had already paid and was watching Y/N waiting at their table patiently.

“Tada!” he laughed, placing the sweet delicacy right under her nose and she immediately dug in. Another thing Jungkook had noticed was that Y/N never paid attention to anything else when a brownie was involved. He watched her savour the first few bites without giving a damn about his presence and it amused him that she could enjoy her food that passionately. Even if it was in small quantities.

“You’re so adorable, it’s making me fall for you.” He whispered and she stuffed another piece of brownie and chocolate into her mouth.

Chuckling, he reached out to the dessert before it was too late. “Hey, you’re supposed to be sharing with me! Let me take a bite.” Jungkook whined before he dug into it. Apparently, when he meant a bite, it meant a whole half. And even if Y/N wanted to have more of it, she was just too full and close to bursting.

Y/N knew she was sleepy when she clutched onto Jungkook as he led her back to his bike.

“Wait a second, my bike won’t start.” Jungkook looked up at her horrified as soon as she’d touched his shoulders to get on. She immediately jolted out of the slight stupor she was in and watched him try to kick start it twice, thrice.

“Not happening, Y/N could you climb down once. I’ll try starting it up again.” Jungkook asked and she slid off the bike and took a few steps back. When he tried it again, the Harley immediately roared to life and Y/N frowned at it.

“I think I figured it out. This only happens when you’re around my bike Y/N. Maybe we should take the taxi next time but what if the tires get punctured?” Y/N slapped Jungkook’s arm as hard as she could and Jungkook burst out laughing. She knew he was talking about the cab tire going flat as soon as she got on, during their trip. Ever since, he would pull this prank on her, faking how things would stop working as soon as she touched them.

“You’re so mean.” Y/N huffed, and crossed her arms pouting.

“And you’re adorable, come here.” He pulled her closer and gave her a giant warm hug melting away her pout into a huge, shy smile.

She didn’t even complain when he took off his jacket and made her wear it because the night was becoming colder and he didn’t want her catching a cold. The roads were empty and this time she rested her head on his back. His warmth felt wonderful against her cold cheeks and she snuggled into him closer and held his waist tighter. The musky fragrance from his jacket and his shirt put her in a haze, making her take deep breaths to get more of it. If Jungkook had noticed, he hadn’t said anything and at that point she was in no control of her actions.

When she felt him coming to a stop, she looked up to see her house she and Hoseok rented together. But it was the end of the ride and she didn’t want to let go, so she tightened her grip on Jungkook.

“Baby you’re sleepy, it’s cold and late, you need to go in.” Jungkook cooed, clutching her hands around his waist and pulling them apart. If it was up to her she would’ve stayed that way the whole night, but she knew she had to let go because of a reason that she couldn’t quite remember. But she knew it was right.

With a big whine she let go of him and slid off the bike, moving to take off his jacket, but he stopped her. He brought the ends of the zipper together and zipped it up high, patting her shoulders as if admiring the fit on her. He then pulled out a paper bag and Y/N could make out the logo of the restaurant they’d just left and she wondered what it was.

Pressing it into her hand, he walked her back to the door, silently watching as she pulled out the key and opened the lock. Hoseok was already asleep she assumed or was pretending to be, because as per his words, things might go onto a different level and he wouldn’t want to walk in on them doing it.

When she got in, she turned back to Jungkook who stood at the door smiling softly at her before he pulled her in for a long hug. He nodded to the paper bag in her hand and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“I know you didn’t eat much, but in case you wake up hungry in the night, just have that okay?” He asked cupping her cheeks and bending to her height to look into her eyes. When she nodded, he pressed another kiss to her forehead and stepped outside.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” he stroked her cheek once and ushered her inside. She watched him leave from the window, sighing and pressing her nose to his jacket.

When she woke up three hours later, clutching Jungkook’s jacket, she instinctively reached over to her phone to check the time. There were also two texts from Jungkook.

Thank you for today, baby. Whatever we call this night, I want more. I had a wonderful time and I hope you did too.

She hid her face in his jacket as though shying away from Jungkook himself. That moment was cut short when her stomach grumbled and she immediately retrieved the paper bag Jungkook had given her, surprised that she’d put it in the refrigerator. What greeted her from the neatly wrapped box surprised her even more.

A slice of the mud cake.

As she bit into it, her eyes scanned his second text.

P.S.: I know you too well, I never get it wrong.

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[raquellmurillo]

I totally agree with you. They made it looked like Raquel is just a hindrance on the plans of Professor. Without her, the story most likely will just stay the same. So much hateee. Raquel can do better!!! Where the fuck is Raquel Murillo!!!!

Didn’t they just???

Apart from all the problematic issues with her being involved in the heist... they really made her the hindrance.

Firstly, I don’t understand the whole point of them not being in Madrid. Because, Sergio had to be there in s1&2, just in case things went wrong, especially with cars, evidence, ya know all the little bits. I understand there are no protocols to check outside a given area... wouldn’t it make more sense to play it the other way around? To make police think they’re in, say, Barcelona, “because there are no protocols to check outside given area”; which would make the police think they’re really clever, as they’ve figured out that the professor is trying to base himself elsewhere. Why not have Marsella riding that bike around another large city....?

Because you see, I’d understand if that actually was a crucial part; they could by no means be in Madrid... but all of s4 was based in Madrid, yet no one bothered to look there (well apart from Alicia who tracked him from cctv cameras.... like give this woman a raise! But that would also assume Sergio is stupid enough to drive straight to his “secret hideout”, rather than leave the car say a few streets away and walking........ he is really down to his last brain cell, isn’t he??? Or the writers are lmao) so it seems a bit pointless to be as far away from the heist, especially, since like, Sergio hasn’t been caught in Madrid (well by the teams of thousands looking for him, since now they’ve even got a trail to follow) and as this amazing technique of being further away got them caught a lot faster? Wouldn’t it be better to start off in Madrid and run if they got caught there? Still being able to direct the heist but not from the comfort of a nearby location? Didn’t it sorta look like they were trying to catch them? 

It leaves a few plot holes, ya know... the whole epicenter plan (oh I was perhaps distracted when first hearing it lmaoo ;D) ---- that assumes they’re caught in a forest tho (?) - what if the got tracked an hour before on the beach...??? It seemed the plot was written for the action, rather than the action for the plot - all the things that were planned in s1&2 were only for inside the mint (!!!!) and all the things outside of the heist - the really stressful bits of Sergio threatening Russians etc. - were improvised, because they were fully aware that otherwise it would seem so unnatural; they weren’t protocol things that could be planned or predicted. I know now things have changed etc. but this amazing idea with the location was meant to solve all their issues. The plan of ‘in case they got caught’ was so ugh because it was clearly not written as a response to the situation, but almost in order to cause the situation. It would have made more sense to not have the epicenter plan, as it would’ve looked as if they didn’t expect to be caught in the middle of a forest lmao Sergio is a genius of improvisation, not a psychic (!!!!) It would have been amazing if they were in that ambulance and Sergio was like “think, think, think; a tree!! omg we gonna fool them wifey”. Not.... a few months before; “they’re not gonna catch us...... but if they do, it’ll defo be in a forest - I can sense it!!” --- plan epicenter on the beach --- “okay Raquel, you’re gonna bury yourself in the sand and hope the dogs don’t dig you up”; I mean, they couldn’t have predicted that, which made it so obvious (now looking back) that they planned Raquel to be a hindrance, rather than something actually going wrong causing a genuine, unplanned, improvised reaction (...not to mention --- let her climb the motherfucking tree, you cowards!!!!!) Nah, but seriously, it looked as if the only thing that Sergio calculated was that she would be a hindrance lmaooo 

So, the million dollar question; why not keep them locked up in that abandoned warehouse whilst Marsella flies from one city to another confusing the police? Because the implications of Sergio happily doing all the shit from his secret non moving base in Madrid, are that the police aren’t able to track him. At all. Despite still negotiating? Even without having Marsella cycling around all the time. Also despite having constant gatherings of Serbian, I assume, criminals, mafia.... Imagine if the police is tracking one of the people Sergio hires anyhow, for like, idk drug trafficking- and they break into Sergio’s hide out thinking they’ve managed to find some drug den.... but to their disappointment it’s just Sergio lmao

The point being, I think they wanted to write it for action rather than plot. Having Raquel and Sergio back in a s1&2 type set up, could possibly be seen as repetitive, viewer wise.... WHich I think is just laziness; they’d have to write some conflict scenes, delve into more detail. We only got, what, one, two scenes of Raquel and Sergio both negotiating.... wouldn’t it have been more fun to continue this? Have Alicia slide in more and more personal details of Raquel’s life; legit doing her tent interview with Raquel over the phone? Imagine her calling him a nut job, saying something like, “he could’ve been trying to kill your family for all you know...” and Raquel just rolling her eyes and hanging up ---- to see a very very distressed Sergio lmaooo 

I know they’re the lead couple but let’s not be afraid of well written conflict, for the sake of sorting some shit out -- I love them, but for the sake of poor Raquel, let them be together as they are, not as what they think they are. Let’s forget about the glory for a second. In s1&2 everyone loved them because they were able to overcome the fact that they’re on different sides; this time, instead of writing them as madly in love, let’s take a step to tackle them as characters who make their bond stronger by accepting their weaknesses ~ give Sergio his ‘Imma kill this old woman and man who just woke up from a coma to make sure they don’t fuck up the plan’ attitude back; Gandia should be dead! The rule was ‘no killing of innocent kids so the public opinion doesn’t push the police to enter’, not ‘let’s not kill this guy who is a government trained assassin so amnesty international considers me as their next president’ lmaooo PLS let them be themselves, and MAKE them deal with them ‘being themselves’. Raquel is the goodie goodie and Sergio is the wanna be goodie goodie - or goodie for the show - Make him make some radical decisions; make Raquel question them; MAKE her be his voice of reason. (like in s3, when she questioned the Rio/Tokyo thing; that one argument was as far as they were willing to take it, but at least they tried). Make an interesting conflict by making Alicia try to prove to Raquel, that Sergio is who he is, and Sergio not doing anything in his favour to prove the contrary. Make Raquel realise that there is a lot of truth in what Alicia is saying; if she is going to love him, it should depend on her making this informed decision of loving him as he is. 

Instead of one big argument, gradually build it up. It seemed like they wanted to shove everything into that scene; little by little, and lets not get them all so upset and shout some dramatic lines at each other ya know. Instead of the “I thought we were in love...” -- my wonderful negotiator wouldn't go there omg, let her @@@@ himmm; “shut the fuck up, you ain’t gonna get anywhere with those umbrella statements, because tell me again, what did you beat me at?”, “Didn’t tell me to come along??? Well, you didn’t fucking stop me either.”, “Now, we’ve reached the conclusion that I beat you and you didn’t give enough of a shit about me to stop me from coming as vengeance was so much more important you didn’t think you could lose your new family; go the fuck back in and tell Tokyo to not fucking do that to the boy.” LETS NOT BE AFRAID OF MAKING SERGIO THE BAD GUY AND HAVE RAQUEL PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE. Like she put the people in the police tent in their place, a countless amount of times, especially in terms of her ex etc. The “you’re my first love” thing was cute, but it seemed like throwing words at the wind and turning the issue around; “you’re right, I’m sorry, I was so obsessed thinking about my brother I didn’t realise how much I was hurting you, you’re right about the whole Tokyo thing too” etc..... constructive relationship building; apologising for the actual thing, rather than avoiding a conversation about it and blaming ones behavior on ‘being new to the situation’ (that’s a red flag, no? A lil.....) character progress, still having fierce Raquel who isn’t just gonna let Sergio put her down like that, considering she is risking her life for him, meaning she ought to get some say........

Because the lines Alicia says have a lot of truth in them, especially for an audience who is aware of everything; Raquel denying them or saying some stupid comments really makes her seem idk sometimes even stupid. Like babe, he was going to kill your mother and best friend and now he is risking your life, shut the fuck up. Of course, it is not in bad intention, but Sergio’s manner of loving is a very selfish one. Let her acknowledge this. Don’t be afraid of writing her as a strong character who isn’t afraid of loving someone despite their flaws, because deep down she knows he loves her, and it’s okay for it not to be perfect. Because not allowing her to see this, makes her seem like she is so blindly in love with him; it really fucks up the characterisation. 

... because without this, she is stripped of her very strong characterisation, and simply reduced to a love interest. But the show seems so be so fucking in love with the professor they are afraid to give him this edge he had before. Because sorting Raquel’s character out would require them to write Sergio as the maniac obsessed with his plan rather than the next president of Amnesty International lmao  

I had another three paragraphs about the plan etc. but imma put them in a different ask, so enjoy this wonderful Milan Kundera quote instead; 

“Love is by definition an unmerited gift; being loved without meriting it is the very proof of real love. If a woman tells me: I love you because you're intelligent, because you're decent, because you buy me gifts, because you don't chase women, because you do the dishes, then I'm disappointed; such love seems a rather self-interested business. How much finer it is to hear: I'm crazy about you even though you're neither intelligent nor decent, even though you're a liar, an egotist, a bastard.”

[halfgclden]

Camping and Cosmos and Crinitus (oh my) | Jordan&Caspar

Date: Late July, 2020

Summary: two bros, chilling at a campsite, zero feet apart cause they are gay

There was a certain nostalgia that came to Jordan as he walked through the woods, a small pack on his back as he followed Caspar to what he'd said was a great spot to see the stars from through the trees. This nostalgia was of course interrupted by the fact that he was with Caspar, holding a leash attached to a dog that kept straining against his harness, and in woods that he had not camped in before. This left it familiar with a slight edge of bittersweetness, which Jordan was unsure about, but still enjoyed. 

When they'd gotten to the campsite, they were eager to set everything up so that they wouldn't have to rush later. The process was not unfamiliar to them, but it still took time, and the sun was hanging low by the time they'd finished, not quite sunset, but early evening. Jordan enjoyed the fact that they were fairly far removed from camp, from deadlines and seriousness. Here it was still, and it was good. Jordan inhaled slowly as he took a seat on the ground in front of his tent. "Do you come out here a lot?"

Caspar had picked this particular spot for the clearing in the above treetops which happened to give way for a great view of the stars. It'd been awhile since he'd done camping like the way these two had planned for tonight. He had become used to opting for a cozy night-in instead, but this was just as much a part of him as taking a great nap was. Even though this little camping trip had been inspired by nothing more than clearly seeing the night sky, it began to feel like a proper holiday once everything was set up. Cas had finished poking at the small fire he'd managed to build and took a few steps back so that he could answer Jordan's question. "Not too much lately," He confessed and then joined his friend on the nearby ground. "I like being outside so much though, I should get back into it," He thought aloud and with a shrug. "Which is why it's so cool that you agreed to come out here."

Jordan watched as Caspar tended to the fire, and unclipped Crinitus from his leash when the puppy seemed calm enough not to immediately bolt into the woods. He nodded at Caspar's answer, pulling his knees into his chest and resting his elbows on them. "Ah, yeah, well, y'know." He pressed his lips together, annoyed at himself for being so inarticulate in response. "Sure love me some outside." He smiled at his friend and shrugged. "Nah, I just haven't been out camping in a long time, so you suggesting it was actually pretty cool. And these woods are different, so it's... I dunno, cool to change it up?" He laughed and shook his head. "We really said fuck being comfortable and having a mattress, huh? Time to sleep on the ground tonight."

Caspar was pleased to have the chance to be sitting there with the company they kept by their side. "Crikey, we defo did. Fuck mattresses, huh?" He chuckled lightly, but was still maybe just a bit self-conscious as well (and seemingly for no serious reason). Having listened to Jordan talk in the way he so naturally did made Cas feel better. His embarrassment was a fickle thing and he leaned back. Jordan's specific brand of humor was much appreciated. "Wait, what’s the scenery like back home for you?" He asked.

Hearing Caspar swear was always funny to Jordan. It sounded less than natural, but not exactly stilted, and combined with the Australian slang, he found it strangely adorable. He didn't seem to notice any embarrassment coming from his friend as he shrugged, watching the fire that Caspar had set up. "Depends on what you count. First place I ever went camping was in this place where in the winter we only had four hours of sunlight, and I shit you not, I went dogsledding more than once." There were few fond memories of the Yukon in Jordan's mind, but camping was some of them. "In the summer, there was all but four hours of sunlight, and that's when we went camping. When it was hard to sleep and we'd end up sleeping anyway because we were all sticky and tired from hiking all day." He smiled to himself, then looked down. "And then, where I'm... I guess from now, like, where home actually is. That's way more forest, way easier to deal with. It's in the Pacific Northwest. Got the whole temperate rainforest vibe, bears and cougars and shit. The West Coast Trail and the like. Trees bigger than you can probably imagine, half the firewood is wet." Jordan shrugged once again, feeling rather exhausted from talking so much. "What about you? How's it camping in Australia?"

Caspar listened to Jordan's answer and shifted his gaze from him to the fire and back again. "Wait, wait, dogsledding?" His interest was caught by the mere unexpectedness of it, or maybe it was only unexpected because Caspar hadn't seen snow until he came to camp. "Like that one cartoon feature where the wolf-dog saves the sick children?" He asked but then chuckled. "I love that. I didn't think people really did that. I think that's so interesting," He commented and continued on with his trailing spoken thoughts. "The vast differences in the places around the world are so..." He tried to think of the right word but he doubted he got the right one. "Astounding?" Cas shrugged. "I personally would love to see those giant trees. I bet they're nothing like I've seen," He said. "Aussieland's cool because there's... I guess you'd call them jungles? It's not wet like the Pacific Northwest. You can find firewood easily and there's so many places to walk and explore, but you gotta look where you're walking." He described.

Jordan couldn’t help but groan when Caspar mentioned the animated movie that had been etched into his memory. “Fuck off,” he snickered, shaking his head. “Yeah, just like fucking Balto.” He rested his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand, looking at and actually listening to Caspar as he continued to speak. “Yeah. You and me could wrap around either side of some of them and have trouble holding hands on the other side.” Jordan hummed, trying to imagine a hot jungle, but just kept imagining clips from Jumanji. “Because of wildlife? Or flora? Or both?”

Caspar watched as Jordan reacted to Balto being brought up and he giggled mostly because it wasn't expected. He then leaned back and his mind began trying to visualize how big the tree would really have to be. When it got to the point where he couldn't fathom the width any longer, he reached his arm over so he could give Crinitus a few good scratches. "Oh, uh, both? There's trails back home with different rankings that're supposed to let you know how rough it's going to be. Some are rocky, some are covered in roots or vines," Cas responded and sat normally again. "There's snakes and stuff too, but if you keep an eye out as much as you can, everything's fine. If you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone..." He shrugged. "The stars must be visible all the time there during the summer though, right? I think that'd be cool, not only the stars but to live like that without sunlight."

Jordan couldn't help but smile when Caspar giggled, laughing quietly as well, happy that his amusement landed well. "I get that. Like, fuck though, I know you said the coral got you, but you ever get bitten by a snake? I feel like that shit is hardcore, especially with how much wants to kill you out in Australia." He nodded. "Oh yeah, I can kind of tell what time it is from the stars. Or... I used to. It's harder here." He shrugged and leaned forward. "It's like, you know how some people can tell time from the position of the sun in the sky? Like that. But," he said, jumping to a new subject, "you have totally different constellations, yeah? I guess you know both by now though. You know much about the myths around the ones in the southern hemisphere?"

"Nope, no snake bites," Caspar proudly announced but listened to Jordan as he talked about the stars and the sky. "I'm not the best at telling the time from the sun, but I can usually spot a constellation in no time. I'm probably better at spotting the southern ones, but I don't know. It's been awhile since I've seen them," He smiled warmly. "But, down under, I don't know if things want to kill you. There's not... psychopathic spiders out there," He snickered and began digging through his nearby pack. "But, uh, yeah, I know some myths," He focused back on Jordan and held him out a bag of marshmallows, but kept talking. "One of my favorite's is a star cluster that used to be called 'the herdsman' back in ancient times. Everyone now thinks it looks more like a kite though, so it's cool because it's adapted with the times," Caspar kept the chocolate and the crackers in his hand, although raised them to bring attention to his idea. "I can tell you more, but should we make this camping trip official?" He questioned, smiling again.

"Yeah, also using a phone or a watch works better than anything. But when you're eleven and camping, you don't really have that shit." Jordan tilted his head at Caspar and raised his eyebrows. "Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me there's not spiders that have been premeditating my murder? Bullshit. They have eight legs for a reason. Six of those hands can hold guns and they can still walk. I know they're up to something." He grinned, clearly amusing himself as he eyed the marshmallows in Caspar's hand. "It's pretty cool how shit like that develops, yeah. It's like language and sayings that we have no idea where they come from." He sat up a bit straighter and stood. "Absolutely. I'll grab us some sticks. Keep telling me about the herdsman though, unless that was it," he said over his shoulder as he walked to snap a few sticks off of a nearby tree. "Sure hope this isn't a dryad."

Caspar chuckled at the mental image of a big spider holding guns while walking around at the same time. "Those little sayings are called idioms," He casually mentioned and then opened the bag of marshmallows. He left the fetching of the sticks to Jordan. He glanced at Jordan and chuckled again. "I think a dryad might let you know, if that's the case," Caspar set up two graham crackers and put chocolate on both. "But, um, the herdsman has a supergiant star that helps make up it's constellation. It's the fourth brightest star in the whole sky and it's an orange-red color." Cas described more about the topic of astronomy.

Jordan nodded. “I’m a fan of them. I think what I like best are malaphors, though.” He pulled out a pocket knife as he returned to sit down next to Caspar again, whittling away at the sticks so that they would be pointy enough to stick into the marshmallows. “That’s when you take two idioms and smash ‘em together. Like, ‘we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it’ or...” He held out one of the sticks to Caspar, then chuckled. “A bear in a glass house is worth two in the woods.” He nodded. “Fuck, that’s cool as hell. I’ve never been big into space, but the fucking vastness of it all is crazy. Like how half of those stars are burnt out, but we’re so far away we can still see them. That sort of shit fucks with my head, you know?”

"Those are ace," Caspar giggled at the malaphors that Jordan had prattled of. "You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it," He added his own with a proud little smile. His eyes then twinkled as he remembered something else that had seemed interesting about space and pertinent to the conversation as well. "They actually just discovered a new galaxy not too long ago, I think last year some time? But it's bloody far away from us and kind of hard to see because of space dust but they've got the tech nowadays," Cas said. "It definitely fucks with my head, but in a good way. I like contemplating different stuff though, I guess."

Jordan grinned, his own eyes glinting as Caspar added one of his own and he chuckled along. “Looks like malaphors are our piece of cake.” He nodded as he listened to Caspar and took one of the marshmallows to skewer on his stick. “Is it visible with the naked eye? Probably not, if it’s that far, especially with how much light pollution there is now. Have you ever listened to those things that are like ‘what the planets sound like’? There’s something going on with Jupiter that is just fucking nuts, man.” He shook his head and tilted his marshmallow towards the fire, sitting far enough away that he could barely feel the heat against his legs with his pants. “You seem thoughtful a lot of the time.” He smiled, watching Crinitus chew on a stick beside him. “Can call it spacey, if we ignore the negative connotations.” He leaned back a bit, but kept his marshmallow forward. “I was thinking about taking an astronomy class next semester for my science cred. I always really liked physics and shit like that, but I don’t know if I can be bothered to deal with quite that much work with all my other classes.”

Caspar shook his head to silently answer Jordan about the newfound galaxy being visible to the naked eye. He smiled while he did so because he simply enjoyed listening to his friend speak. He took the other stick Jordan had sharpened and skewered himself a marshmallow. Cas began letting it hover over the flames. "I like spacey, we can defo ignore the negative connotations. Tai actually calls me Cosmo a lot, so its kind of a perfect fit," He casually expressed as he watched his treat with intention. "I think that class'd be a beauty. I would help you if you really did end up wanting to take it. I wouldn't want you to overload yourself though," He shrugged after his offer, Cas was still smiling, and looked over at Crinitus. "—He's being such a good boy." He spoke as his trailing of thoughts shifted to the the dog for the moment.

Jordan rotated his marshmallow slowly, though it was too far from the fire to start browning yet. "Yeah, I thought that was pretty clever, actually. Very aussie of you guys." He smiled at Caspar. "That'd be ace." He squinted, unsure if the word felt right in his mouth. "I don't think it'd be too much of an overload. I hear the prof is pretty good, and we get to take trips out to an observatory." He pressed his lips together as he thought about something. "If we wanted to, we could probably look into making a trip up there, where the light pollution is less bad. Me you and Tai could all chill out and look at the stars up close." He glanced back over at his dog and smirked, shaking his head. "He's kind of an idiot, but he listens pretty well." He leaned back and grabbed his jacket from where it was sitting behind him, and pulled out a bag of jerky that made Crinitus's ears shoot up, his attention now on Jordan. He looked at Caspar and held out the bag to him. "Wanna give him a treat?"

"Ace?" Caspar repeated and lightly chuckled. "You're sounding more and more like a true blue Aussie bloke every day," He teased and bumped shoulders with Jordan, but made sure it wasn't too hard because of the fact they both were still roasting their treats. The idea that his friend had posed about taking a trip out to an observatory was too good to pass up. "I would love to do that... And with the two of you? I think that'd be a fantastic idea," He chimed back, fully agreeing to the proposition, but his eyes were on the bag of jerky. "—Oh, yeah, can I?" He asked with an excited expression but took the bag from Jordan as it was offered. "Crinitus," Cas called out even though it was redundant because the dog's attention had already been caught. Managing poorly to juggle his marshmallow stick, he opened the bag and picked out a piece. Caspar tossed it to the dog. "I think he deserved it," He confirmed to Jordan with a pleased smile. It lasted only a second longer because he then realized his marshmallow had caught fire. Caspar dropped the bag of jerky so he could tend to it before it got too burnt. He laughed as he attempted to blow out the fire and when it was done successfully, he began inspecting it. "Ah, what a fool I am." He joked regarding the state of his marshmallow.

Jordan nudged Caspar’s ankle with his foot as Caspar bumped him, keeping his stick in place as he rocked from one side to the other, an almost shy smile making its way to his face. “Shut up.” He laughed, ducking his head. “Catch me never fuckin’ saying that shit again.” He turned his stick slowly again, smiling to himself and not looking directly at his friend. “We can go some clear night or whatever, I can figure out the deets.” He reached over to grab a piece of jerky himself, smiling at how pleased his dog seemed from the snack. His eyes grew wide at the sight of Caspar’s marshmallow catching fire, and let out a small breath of relief when it was put out, pulling his own stick closer to prevent the same scenario from happening to him. He snickered at Caspar calling himself a fool. “Absolute buffoon.” He smiled, then held out his own marshmallow towards his friend. “Uh, we can switch if you want. I don’t mind burnt food,” he lied.

Caspar laughed and didn't take the other's words too hard and, when the marshmallow was not on fire any longer, he smiled over at Jordan. He realized Jordan was offering his own marshmallow and shook his head. "Oh, no, no, I can eat it. No worries," He assured him. "It's just a little bit more done than I try and go for, but I don't mind either. There's a fine line when roasting 'mallows." He said and began putting the rest of his treat together. When it was done, he took a bite and gave Jordan the 'ok' sign with his fingers and smiled with a closed mouth as he chewed.

Jordan smiled, happy that he didn’t actually have to trade marshmallows with Caspar. He’d regretted the offer as soon as he made it, but it wasn’t the type of thing he would have gone back on.  “Dope, I’m sure it’ll taste fine with everything else anyway.” He rested the stick between his knees and pulled the outside of the marshmallow off, stuffed the chocolate inside, and then put the graham crackers around that. He held it up to Caspar. “Mess-free s’more,” he explained before he took a bite.

"Whoa, you're a genius," Caspar pointed out as he observed how his friend put together his s'more. "Where'd you learn that?" He smiled, curiously as he began to eat his much more messy s'more than Jordy's. "Or did you just figure it out on the spot?" He chuckled.

Jordan brightened at the praise, and sat up a bit straighter. He took a bite of his s’more and spoke around it, holding a hand in front of his mouth. “My sister actually made it up. I was kinda fine with getting all sticky, but for some reason it seemed to bother her.” He laughed. “But she’s not here so maybe I should take the credit for being smart as hell.”

"Crikey, I'll totally give you the credit," Caspar said while finishing up his s'more. "I'll pretend I didn't hear anything but you being wicked smart..." He assured the other and, with eyes on Jordan, a smile grew warmer and wider on the pale boy's soft expression. "I want to know you more, Jordy," He commented; turning more to face the other. "Can I ask what your relationship with your sister's like...?" Caspar asked then immediately realized something. He exhaled although he barely let his content features falter. "—Sorry, I kind of assumed you weren't talking about sisters here, right?" He asked to confirm.

Jordan smiled at the compliment, dropping his hand since he wasn't eating and speaking at the same time. The sincerity of Caspar's next statement made Jordan shift slightly, turning his gaze to his dog once more in an unconscious effort not to make too much contact, though he did have to admit that such a comment was pretty funny next to what he found to be a rather ridiculous nickname. He raised his shoulders in a shrug. "Uh, yeah, not..." Jordan didn't always know what to call his relatives at camp, he supposed that someone else calling them sisters was fine, because when you got down to schematics, that's technically what they were. "Yeah, I... I dunno, I know everyone here except me is real close with their half-siblings at camp, but..." He shrugged, rubbing the side of his neck with one hand. "I don't know, me and my sister, like, my actual sister, we've been through a lot together, and I feel like counting these people that my godly parent who I haven't even met happened to also parent is... I don't know, it feels like it discounts things." He stretched his legs out in front of him and sighed, though it was somewhat of a groan. "Ugh, that wasn't even the question." He felt stupid, feeling the need to explain himself when he wasn't even being confronted, and turned his face away from Caspar. "We're close. Less now than we were, since we're... physically far, but she's one of my favourite people." His skin crawled as he thought about how vulnerable he felt, and he put the s'more down on his knee so he could pick up the sick again and dig it into the ground. "You don't have any siblings, right? Excepting your camp ones. That why you guys get along so well?"

Caspar understood what Jordan was talking about. He felt the need to assure his friend that his point of view was valued, especially after he heard him groan, but remained silent as to let him finish with all of his thoughts. When Caspar was posed with questions to answer, he smiled warmly under the crackling hues of the amber-colored fire. "Oh, no, I actually have two brothers, and a sister back home in Brissy, too," He shrugged, realizing he never revealed that information earlier. "They're all cool in their own way, I guess, but... I always felt like the odd one out around them?" With his hands free again, he dusted them off and cleared his throat. "With, um, the way you explain it, uh, makes sense..." Caspar expressed. "I was adopted so there's another reason why I felt like a black sheep," He casually added. "But I learned family's what you make of it. So, uh, we're obviously not exactly the same... But, in a way, your situation and my situation is flipped, yeah?" He observed. "I get along better with my family, or whatever, here and it's just not the same with you and I don't think that's anything to be ashamed of, you know? We're like puzzles pieces, we only fit in where we fit in." He said.

Jordan stole glances up at Caspar as he spoke, not wanting to seem like he was too interested in what the other boy was saying, though he was. He wiggled the stick into the ground and let go of it, leaning his hands back on the log as he gave Caspar a small smile. "Hard to think of you as the black anything," he quipped quietly, but let him continue. He twisted his finger around a piece of hair as he nodded at his friend, then looked down at the stick again, afraid that he was looking too long, or that Caspar might look back at him processing how well he could relate to his words. He felt somewhat bare, as though Caspar really was getting to know some part of him, and he didn't know exactly how he felt about it, but he could definitely tell that it wasn't all bad. "Yeah, that makes sense." He felt rather inarticulate after the speech, but didn't mind too much; not everyone could be a poet. "We're mirrors." He smirked a bit. "And that's not to say that I don't care about the people in my cabin. I think... I dunno, they're all my friends. It's just different, yeah." He rolled his neck. "But anyway, enough delving into my inner psyche. What about knowing you? Tell me something I don't know."

Caspar could empathize with the uncertain feeling that came with getting closer with another but, in this setting, he wasn't all that uncomfortable. He smiled at the comment about being mirrors. "Mirrors, I like that," Caspar expressed and then nodded. "And, I get it," He added with reassurance once again. He then chuckled lightly. "—But, wait, did you know my natural hair's a kind of dark brown? You can only see it in old pictures of me. I've been messing with hair colors for a long time though, and I've had tons," He described and then put more thought in regarding his past and a fact he could tell Jordan. "But, uh, let me think of something else," Caspar lightly and contently sighed. "Um, I don't know what's interesting, but I'm allergic to apricots? I believed in fairies when I was a little kid?" He offered up. "Um, sometimes when I first wake up, I think I only see in black and white? The colors come back right away but for a second, I swear." He chuckled again and shrugged.

Jordan pressed his fingers into the log, feeling the grooves as he continued to listen to Caspar. "When'd you start dyeing it?" He felt weird thinking about Caspar with dark hair; and though it was fairly obvious that his natural hair colour wasn't stark white, it felt like it suited his friend more. "Just apricots? How'd you find that one out?" He smiled. "I'm surprised you don't still believe in fairies. They seem like your vibe. And we know that monsters and shit are real, so why not?" The last fact made Jordan's eyebrows shoot up excitedly, and he reached out to rest a hand on his dog's head when he rested his head on his leg. "Does that fit into you seeing auras? Do you dream in colour?"

"I dream in black and white very rarely but, when I'm dreamscaping and in control, I try to make them all as colourful as can be. Although, I'm not sure if the lack of it when I wake is related to the whole aura thing..." Caspar explained to his friend. "It's an interesting concept to think about, it probably is related," He responded while endearingly watching Crinitus show affection to his owner. "I'm not sure exactly when I started with my hair either, uh... Maybe a year before I came to camp?" He thought aloud. "It was bloody impulsive when I chose to change it all, but ended up just sticking with it, so," With a proud little smile, Caspar's train of thought quickly shifted from colors to the next topic he wanted to reply to. "—Oh, by the way, my experience with apricot was only my worst reaction," He casually clarified. "I'll swell up and get hives if I eat certain types of nuts, kiwi, or peaches too. And, actually, a breakfast parfait got me officially diagnosed," He explained with a small shrug and pressed his palms down onto the log as well. He looked up at the stars now and leaned back slightly to do so. "Also, I think there's a part of me that still might believe in fairies, if I'm being fully transparent. There are stranger things in our lives, I agree..." Caspar then hesitated for a moment but eventually spoke again yet softer this time. "If you get tired, will you tell me?" He asked.

"I think it'd be kinda fucked up to dream in black and white. But, I guess I could do that and just not really remember. Colours aren't what I remember from my dreams. It's cool if it is connected to your aura thing. Kind of hard to see if it does though, I imagine that's hard as fuck to research." He glanced at Caspar once more. "I like the white. I think it suits you. Like a blank canvas." After a pause, he added, "or some shit" to sound less like he was waxing poetic. "A breakfast parfait?" Jordan asked incredulously, laughing. "Dude, you're telling me yogurt almost had you kick the bucket? Incredible. I would love for that to be listed as my cause of death, honestly." He nodded in agreement to the sentiment that there were things much stranger than fairies. "I dunno, why can't people with wings exist if I can just be..." He motioned indistinctly to the woods but didn't actually teleport, far too comfortable to. After Caspar spoke, he exhaled a small laugh, smiling at his friend. "I'm always tired." He didn't look away, instead resting his cheek against his own shoulder. "But yeah, I will. Same for you?"

"There's certain books on auras and such but it's hard to sift through what's real and what's just been guessed by the author," Caspar summarized but then readily blushed upon hearing Jordan's compliment regarding his bleached white hair. He tried hard not to react any further and let the conversation continue. "Crikey, not the actual yogurt," He chuckled, shaking his head but finding his friend very amusing. "Just the nuts and fruit and stuff," He clarified but was smiling nonetheless (especially as he watched Jordan rest his cheek against his own shoulder). "I'm always tired too," Caspar agreed and scooted closer to Jordan. "We can go lay down soon?" He suggested and had realized that he was probably done with snacking on s'mores for tonight anyways. He pulled his sleeves down over his hands. "You can also use my shoulder instead if you want, until then? I don't mind..." Caspar gently offered as the untended fire seemed to not be as bright as it once had.

"Yeah, I guess it's hard to do hard research on shit like that. Like dream interpretation. Not like there's a lot of hard science in what I do," Jordan said with a shrug of the shoulder he wasn't leaning on. "I'm gonna keep saying yogurt, I think, sounds funnier." He grinned impishly at his friend, then picked up the s'more resting on his knee to toss into the fire so that his dog wouldn't end up eating it. At Caspar's suggestion, he picked at a thread in his jeans, then scooted slightly closer, trying not to move too much as to not disturb a half-asleep Crinitus. "If you want, I can snuff out the fire, and then we can watch the stars like we planned to." He tipped his head to the side and rested against Caspar's shoulder, looking out at the woods. "And if you want, we can form a chain here. Since I'm on you and Crinitus is on me, you can get a dog pillow," he joked with a small smile.

"You need a Teleportation 101 class," Caspar snickered to himself at his silly little joke. He then playfully rolled his eyes at Jordan after hearing his comment regarding the yogurt. His expression was somehow still soft even as he rolled his eyes. He felt good in the moment his friend rested their head on his shoulder but, then again it always felt this way being there for someone. He tried to maneuver himself to get a look at a sleeping Crinitus by Jordan's feet and was pleased by the sight. "That's probably how it's going to be in the tent tonight..." He responded. "A cuddle pile, if you will," He commented "...And, I do still want to look at the stars, but we can do that whenever you're ready to put out the fire. I can wait, but I don't want us to get too tired beforehand." He explained.

"Hey." Despite trying to sound annoyed, Jordan's tone was much more amused than anything. "I'm at least in the 200s level, cut me some slack." He raised his head as Caspar moved, as well as to look at the fire. "Are you someone who just latches on to the nearest thing when you sleep? Or are you a starfish?" He raised his arms and cracked his knuckles, then wiggled his fingers in front of him, muttering a low incantation. Crinitus lifted his head to watch as the fire smoldered and went out, leaving a trail of smoke curling into the sky. "Alright, boy with white hair, tell me which planets are making me sad."

"Sorry, sorry," Caspar apologized for the silly '101' comment and bashfully ducked his head especially while Jordan raised his up once again. "I am usually one who clings to whatever's near," He smiled. "So if that makes me a starfish?" He rubbed his knees with his palms and then slightly shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I am one, watch out for my tube feet," He joked with a tone of voice where it was clear he was already becoming tired. Caspar wiggled his fingers along with Jordan in reference to their past conversation but eventually dropped his hands again. He shifted his eyes up to the stars in the night sky. He was smiling more-so now at the little nickname. "-Hm, well, you're an Aries, right? That means Mars rules you, it represents the beginning of all beginnings... It is our first breath and our first scream, being the one responsible for the body we have and the, um, incarnation we are in at the moment..." Caspar looked back at Jordan to make sure he really wanted to know this kind of stuff. "Uh, it's associated with karma and instinct, but I think it's really just an unconscious animalistic nature we don’t give enough freedom to..." He cleared his throat and quickly looked back at the stars. "I'd have to know more of your birth chart to tell you more."

Jordan laughed at the tube-feet comment and wiggled his fingers back at Caspar. “Oh my god.” He shook his head and looked up at the sky as his friend began describing what his sign meant, eyes flicking back to him after a moment. “First breath and first scream? Dude, that’s metal as fuck.” He laughed. “Animalistic nature. Dunno if that’s my deal, but the sound of it is cool.” He pressed his palms into the log and looked back to the sky. “Kendall knows my birth chart. Made me literally call my mom and find out what time I was born.”

"Oh... Yeah, I guess it is," Caspar chuckled a little embarrassed by how he had explained Aries energy. "But I meant more like, uh... Acting on impulse and doing what you want without abandon, not, um, running through the woods on your hands and knees or something silly," His palms had already been pressed down onto the log as well and he stole a quick glance of Jordan here and there as they sat and watched the stars. "That's what I would've had you done too," He smiled softly. "I can probably reach out to her to get a look at it? So I can tell you more of my, uh, interpretations?" Caspar suggested. "Unless you feel like she's covered it all with you already. If so, that's okay too..." He covered his bases in his reply then yawned but remained stargazing.

Jordan laughed at the idea of them running around the woods on all fours and moved so that he was resting on his elbows instead of his hands, more reclined as he watched the sky through the trees. “Yeah, you’ll have to find her for that. I don’t really remember any of it. I think she mentioned pretty much every sign at some point, and I don’t really prescribe to Greek zodiac and myth too much, so I didn’t retain much.” He looked at Caspar. “It’d be cool to get your take on it, though. But what made you so into Greek constellations when you were born in a place where you didn’t even see them? Unless you only started studying them here.”

"Okay, yeah, that's perfect. I'm excited to get a look at your chart," Caspar confessed and happily continued on in response. "I'll try and make it exciting for you to learn about," He explained with assurance and then shrugged because he wasn't sure of how to answer to the question that had been asked. "...Oh, uh, hmm,I guess that I was into them because I knew I was a demigod since I was young? I always have been in love with the stars too. Greek constellations came easier to me and I had already learned all the ones down in the southern hemisphere," He shrugged. "The cosmos are a constant in my life."

Jordan exhaled something that could be interpreted as a laugh. “Learning is always exciting.” He was serious about the sentiment; not entirely sure that the subject was up his alley, but willing to hear Caspar out. “Oh,” he said as he tilted his head to look at his friend. “Fuck, forgot some people just knew that shit. I didn’t know until I got here, and I was still pretty sure I was making the whole thing up or something.” He shrugged one shoulder and looked back up at the sky, covering his mouth with the back of his hand as he yawned. “That’s fucking sick. To be into something all the way from when you were young.” He let out a small “oof” as his dog put his head down on his stomach, and reached down to pat him as he yawned again. “Maybe... bedtime soon. But you can keep telling me about the sky. I promise I’m still listening.” The words seemed too sincere to leave it there, so he continued. “Maybe just slow down if you hear snoring.”

"I like that about you. You have an open-mind," Caspar complimented and sent a tired little smile over Jordan's way through the firelight. "Imagine all those feelings, but not being able to do anything about them. I couldn't get away from my family until I just turned sixteen? But I knew I was destined to come here as soon as I heard about camp... And, it wasn't getting safe in Aussieland, so, it was defo complicated all around," He shrugged as he explained a little bit more about his past and, maybe only because Jordan did, but Caspar yawned as well. He nodded before he could speak. "Yeah... I think that's a good idea. We can go lay down right now?" He stood and rubbed his eye.

Jordan exhaled a small laugh at Caspar’s observational compliment. He could his friend smiling at him from the corner of his eye, but kept his gaze trained upwards as he listened to him continue to speak. “I... can imagine.” His own perspective was much different, but he didn’t offer it, since it felt less like relating to Caspar and more like telling his own story. He finally tilted his head to the side to look back at Caspar and gave him a small smile as well. “It’s nice you had somewhere to escape to.” He followed his friend, pushing his dog’s head from his stomach so that he could stand as well, and stepped far enough back so that he felt comfortable enough to extinguish the fire. As he pressed his hands together and mumbled, it glowed bright for a moment, then smoldered, and Jordan picked up a water bottle to toss over it and put it out fully. He yawned and stretched, his back cracking as he did, and nodded at Caspar. “Crinitus doesn’t normally get to sleep with people, so he’s gonna fuckin' flip.”

Caspar moved away from the fire as well and, for the most part, let Jordan handle extinguishing the flames. He watched with tired eyes and, when it was fully out, turned to go over to the tent. "Awe, I'm glad then," He responded and the thought of falling asleep with a dog instead of several white cats made him chuckle lightly. He unzipped the entrance and climbed inside. He got all comfortable and knowing that he was going to get to dream only seemed to make him feel more tired. "Hm... I think..." He mused and, even though he had only gotten horizontal moments before, his eyes were heavy. "That today was a good day...." He managed to say before closing his eyes. For a little bit longer, he tried responding but it mostly came out as non-verbal little hums. After seemingly falling asleep, it only took a few moments before Caspar naturally nudged closer. Along with Crinitus, they cuddled up to Jordan in a warm little pile and that night Caspar dreamed of tide pools.

[irenerei-n-svt]

Seventeen ships as Sibling AU (Mingyoozi version)

Ok I should not be really starting a new series headcanon but ugh

I could not help it lmao, they have 70+ ships and the dynamic are cute and chaotic af, it will be fun if their are your siblings right? Like why not??

Now is up to you to decide that you are either older than them both or younger than them both. I will recommend to be the middle sibling in between Mingyu and Jihoon but i will keep my headcanon list flexible as i can  Blood related or related only by parent’s second marriage or only blood related to one of them is do able

Mingyu works as a chef/owner in family owned restaurant while Jihoon works as songcomposer

You could be a student or a normal office worker

You three live in a single storey house and your parents lives at other spot. Because the single storey house is near your workplace/school and near Jihoon’s studio.

If you are not related to Jihoon, : 

You might feel this big brother is quite distant.  You get intimidated for no reason at the beginning.

You might try to download his songs to try to get some topic to chat. Only to realise he is actually a legend. 

At first you might freaked out that there is smol hoodie monster searching the fridge during midnight, turns out that is the hungry Jihoon looking for food because he stayed up writing songs. You will get used to it eventually. 

bonus point if you are related to Mingyu and have the same skill of cooking like your brother, you will be the one to whip up some food for Jihoon when Mingyu is not in then. Even better, Jihoon be the one knocking on you door asking you whats for dinner.

You will wonder if his tension are always low but he will prove you wrong as days pass by. Sometimes he will be the one to initiate jokes and pranks which caught you offguard because you thought he is the sensible one.

You will wonder if his closet are just hoodies and black tees lmao

You will wonder if coke is his version of water lmao

DOES HE ONLY EATS RICE???

You think his laughter is cute as hell.

Be amazed when you go into his room for the first time, all those instruments and CDs of artist (s) that he participated with.

Always taking side on the non blood related sibling by kicking his blood related brother lmao

Rarely gets angry but one look will suffice

Jihoon works and travels back and forth between his room and his studio. His work schedule are quite messy so sometimes you did not even know he is in the house or studio.

Get to first hand listen to new songs.

If you are related to Jihoon, : 

You will be proud of him. You have all songs he composed in your playlist. 

Constantly bragging about him.

If you are older than Jihoon, its your advantage to ruffle his hair. He will avoid you sometimes but he will stay still.

You and Mingyu will leave food for him with a message. 

 Definitely that you guys would be bonded on height issue if you share similar gene in height

Jihoon backs up on you by kicking Mingyu’s shin so that you can take back your stuff. *Bonus if this is what he is been doing since you 3 are kids. 

Seeing him playing his guitar outside his room or just lying down on the couch playing his phone while you or Mingyu do the chores 

Rarely gets angry but one look will suffice

When he is tired and need recharge from family member, he would just lie down near you and sleep or play his phone.

He will ask your opinion on the music, or even asking you if the song concept fits with the artist he working with

Already get used to visitors coming to the house, looking for Jihoon. 

If you are related to Mingyu :

You will totally make use of Mingyu’s height to get stuffs from shelf. Of course this boy will help you out happily.

Brithday cakes by Mingyu is a thing to anticipate every year.

Piggy back rides during childhood

You and your brother can eat spicy food well.

Fashion teacher of yours, he might help doing your hair as well. (*Bonus if you are a younger sibling and your are going to prom, Mingyu would be the one to give you fashion advice and styles your hair.)

Putting blankets on Mingyu when he pass out sleeping on the couch or any corner in the house.

Get to try out new food Mingyu is trying to promote in his restaurant.

You will occasionally help in the restaurant.

Apparantly the restaurant get famous because of Mingyu’s good looks

Of course you are proud of him, he got looks got cooking skills.

He would be your happy virus.

If you are not related to Mingyu:

Or for some weird pride sake, you and Jihoon will get on a stool rather asking for help.

Bonus point if you are related to Jihoon for this headcanon : Both of you in awe at your new brother’s cooking. Sometimes even bring Mingyu to a specific restaurant so that he could taste the food and cook it back at home.

You cannot take spicy level like he does so he will seperate portion to make a milder version

Amazed at how much he eats.

if you are skilled in cooking too you would totally bond with him by helping him making meals.

Shocked to find him sleeping with weird poses, and he is not sleeping in his room. But eventually will get used to it.

Get to try out new food Mingyu is trying to promote in his restaurant.

You will occasionally help in the restaurant.

You wonder if any super star scouts has ever scouted on Mingyu

Shocked to realised that this boy is actually a big puppy inside.

Finds it funny because Mingyu is clumsy but can make delicate designed cakes, dessert and appetizer.

If you are related to both of them :  

If you are youngest, this two definitely sing you to sleep when you are still a toddler. ESPECIALLY JIHOON, that is where his love for music sprouts.

Mingyu defo be the clingy brother and Jihoon will be the occasionally clingy one. More like the boss of the siblings. You would used to hide behind Jihoon because Mingyu wants to play with you so much but you want to be alone. Or,

You hide behind Jihoon because Mingyu keeps nagging at you.

As mentioned above, you and Jihoon jealous at Mingyu’s height. 

Or Jihoon jelaous at yours and Mingyu’s height

If you are older than both of them, you might team up with Mingyu to give Jihoon a fashion change.

Making a fancy meal if any song Jihoon made becomes a great hit.

Occasionally making covers of song and upload to Youtube, using your account. You and Jihoon incharge of the vocals and Mingyu in charge of the rapping. OR you and Mingyu do the rapping while Jihoon in charge of the vocals.

No horror movie in the household because of Mingyu is easily scared.

IN SHORT, THIS HOUSE HOLD WORSHIPS JIHOON LMAO

Okay I will stop this here. Might do a part 2 if there is more to add. Let me know which ship as sibling au you want to read~~~!!

[mystarsforanempire]

meta: GODHOOD & ITS EFFECTS

mmm, u can reblog this if u wanna, but @ other gods & divine figures, you don’t necessarily have to Buy Into this concept, this is just what i run with on this blog and with any other figures i write that have ascended to godhood (e.g. like, hades and other greek figures)

i’m gonna try to lay stuff out in simple language that focuses on the sensation of belief and what effect it actually has on those who are Believed In in a literary sense. this bears some similarity to neil gaiman’s + terry pratchett’s concepts of belief in literature but i play with some earthier concepts that are much more based in the telepathic energy + the connection that fosters

this builds on the foundation of my concept of magic within the marvel universe, but to summarize that concept: magic exists throughout the universe, running in rivers across star systems and following, for example, ley lines upon earth while branching outward, kind of like groundwater but in three dimensions. magic is worked by drawing magic into the body (into dedicated “veins”), then running it out along previously laid-out “paths” (spells or rituals) or by utilising a higher telepathic ability to coax the magic into transforming into something else. 

2 notes:

- the word “god” is used to refer to BEACONS OF BELIEF, but the beacon may not be a god. faerie, demon, angel and other spirits affected by the ebbs and flows of belief (vague or not) could be transplanted into this consideration, but on a lesser scale. based on my own philosophy i would argue that a “spirit” is something that comes into form/being as a result of belief rather than ascending to godhood post-belief but honestly, that’s flexible

- this is really long and i’m trying to lay stuff out in relatively plain language for both my own understanding when i read back but also so people can Get Me, but totally feel free to shoot me questions about this because it’s like philosophy in that it’s vaguely scientific sounding bullshit, but can also seem simple to one person and really complex to another from the same angle!

strap urself in and hold onto ur tits, it’s time for ABSTRACT DISCUSSION OF BELIEF AS A MANIFESTATION OF TELEPATHIC ENERGY THAT CAN HAVE A PHYSIOLOGICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECT ON THOSE THAT ENTER INTO ITS COVENANT

                                        WHERE DO GODS BEGIN?

the vast majority of gods exist before they are believed in. that is to say, they start off as figures usually a different species to those they are then worshiped by (although this is not always the case), and then, through a natural process of ingratiation, which becomes demonisation and/or idealisation, which becomes worship. 

not all beings can become gods, and very specific yet often incalcuable specifications must be met. the difference between non-god and god can occur within the space of seconds, and the elevation comes suddenly and impermeably: it is difficult to reverse.

one ascends to godhood by starting off as a figure of renown and high consideration: for some reason, the peoples that look up to them consider themselves separate. this might start off as a separation of class (either with firm boundaries, such as a huge difference in social class, or something like extremely remarkable appearance/personality), then becomes something which is GIVEN AND TAKEN between the god-to-be and their worshipers. 

a god of beauty begins as a figure of renown, to be looked upon with desire and delight: there comes a tipping point where the admirers become worshipers, and the god-to-be allows and welcomes the worship. a goddess of fertility may begin as a mother, but might then render advice or assistance (with magic or otherwise), and then become a figure to be admired... then worshiped. a figure of fire may be feared, even demonized, but then comes the tipping point: this god may be worshiped simply to appease.

make no mistake: when one enters GODHOOD, a covenant is made. the very spirit of that god becomes imbued with power (if they did not have it before) over their sphere of specialty, although these powers can be unreliable and patchy in places, depending on the extent to which different elements of the figure are worshiped. in the matter of apollo, for example, different devotees would examine him differently across the dozens of states in what we refer to as “ancient greece”, and subsequently that would have an effect on how absolute his power would be over particular subjects, perhaps even changing based on his closeness (telepathically, not geographically) to specific groups of devotees.

does this all sound vague??? does it all sound complicated? GOOD. no one sets out to be a god, not at first. and when it comes, it comes all at once.

                               WHAT POWER COMPELS THE GODS?

BASICALLY, it’s telepathic energy. if magic runs in natural rivers throughout the universe, being worked into grooves when spells are used, the channel of telepathic power that runs between god and believer is a groove in its own right. just as the telepathic command of a sorcerer affects the magic to change and become something else, this telepathic energy will affect the very being of the god.

this does not mean a god is controlled by their worshipers. the very nature of belief is flimsy and yet stark and block-like in the psyches of believers: belief is tended to subtle change from one worshiper to another, meaning that when many thousands, hundreds of thousands, millions, or billions believe in a god, they will be different to how they would be if few people believed in them. 

a million believers may believe in some key elements, but others may be subject to change, meaning that the god figure will become blurred at the edges, will have hazy elements where something might be simultaneously true and not true. at the zenith of worship, a god’s memories (and vision of the future, which ill get onto in a minute) will be subject to what its worshipers believe of them, including their base personality, their powers & specialist knowledge & their connections to others.

this state of being, from the belief alone, is confusing and frenetic for some gods, peaceful and calm for others. it depends entirely on what others expect of them. 

                                      WHAT OF SACRIFICE & RITUAL?

energy becomes energy becomes energy: it is a fact of the universe that energy cannot be conjured from nowhere... but it can be conjured from magic. magic, in fact, is a universal lubricant that will serve to allow ONE THING to become another. what does this mean when it comes to ritual?

well, a sacrifice made up for a god is an offer of 2 things: telepathic energy (which in big enough quantities will undoubtedly affect, for example, the power at a god’s disposal and even their latent energy, such as their lifespan) and a GIFT, whether that gift exists in manifestable object/energy (e.g. offering a morsel of food, a sacrifice of meat + life energy, offering a pretty gem) or whether it is representative (e.g. offering a god your artistic thoughts, your dreams, your anger)

so like, this defo applies to loki and the other norse gods of my canon where i envision them as like, feral things at the zenith of belief in them. and that feralness is coming from the fact that you have a lot of people who are full to the brim with energy believing in them (and thus affecting them with similar energy), but also the nature of the sacrifices themselves. 

at the very high point of their worship, loki, thor and the other gods had continuously full mouths. full of blood, of half-cooked flesh, of wine; their minds would be full to the brim with prayers and wishes, askances and considerations. it is a deeply chaotic thing, and the minds of gods must become wider and ever full of other things. 

even if a god keeps up a concentration, settling upon their own lives rather than on the lives of their worshipers, that energy is constant upon them: it is difficult and sometimes painful for a god to turn down a sacrifice or an offer of worship, and it comes with its own psychological costs.

                                                      DESTINY & BELIEF

Magic flows like a river through everything - this includes time itself. although not everything is set in stone, the gods exist along a frame where some parts of the future are destined, are foretold, will inevitably occur.

some of these things are just natural aspects of destiny, but others are more centred to gods in that...

if all your worshipers know the story of the way you are killed, the way you will be killed, the way you were killed, that is probably how you will die. that telepathic energy affects magic, which will affect time itself, and thus destiny. what is destiny but foreknowledge?

and here’s the tricky part. i know that i said before “individuals become gods” and that that’s a kind of ephemeral process, difficult to imagine, except... magic knows what time doesn’t. if you are going to become a god in the future, retroactively you ARE a god now, and you were always a god, and you will always be a god, even when the only person still believing in you is yourself. fun, huh?

so that complex bit of mental gymnastics aside, i want to talk about a concept that’s very central to my portrayal of loki, and that’s FUTURE PAINS. so, imagine it: loki’s like, the equivalent of eight years old, and during a lull in the evening’s activities, when the sun is setting and the magic is flowing a certain way, he lets out a sound of pain, and clasps at his mouth. there is no wound there, and yet he knows that there is a wound, that there will be a wound, that there always was a wound. if he really concentrates, he feels the scars between his lower and upper lips, and if he really concentrates, he can feel the needle that will make them, that is making them, that will have made them.

because of the stream of belief that follows a god in every direction, the scars and the main events they’ll undergo are kind of accessible from all angles, regardless of where they are in the course of their own life: this means that a god will almost always know, on some level (likely deep in their unconscious mind) how they will die. think of it as an eternal sensation of déja vu that you effectively train yourself to ignore, simply to stop yourself going entirely mad.

                             WHEN IS A GOD NO LONGER A GOD?

when they die.

(and even then, it’s flexible.) 

[sambart93]

Fullmetal Alchemist Live Action Movie [Rant]

I finished FMA:B anime like LAST week so I am super sensitive and still on the FMA love boat train thing. And tbh I never had ANY intention of ever watching this movie, but after hearing my friend describe his experience with the movie (he's a NON-FMA-fan and knows absolultey nothing about it) and just not having a good time with it; I had to see it and see for myself just what was wrong with it. And boy-oh-boy, please leave if you were hoping I'd be pleasantly surprised.

It has the bear basics of the character background and the bear basics of the world etc. which is just enough that non-anime/manga fans can just about understand BUT so much is left out. It misses and skips so much of the characters, of the development, of the world. There's just enough missing that also, non-FMA-people will get completely lost and somewhat disengaged with the story too. They really don't establish the childhood-friendness with Winry, Al and Ed, it's super briefed over. The hints about Hommunculus and the reason why they're searching for the Philosopher's Stone is, again, very heavily glossed over compared to the anime. I understand it's only 133 minute film BUT you definitely could've cut some other parts (especially parts that aren't in the anime/manga) in order to flesh out the details and the important parts. Especially in terms of emotional impact.

In the movie version Tucker is protrayed pitiful rather than a bit-shit crazy evil man. So when his dark side comes out, it just looks like a sad, pitiful man and there's no real satisfaction from him being beaten by Ed.

Yamada's emotional performance just doesn't land. The scene about the chimera, you couldn't see much anger or the switch between being happy-to realising what's happened-to getting super fucking angry, and his voice isn't strong enough to portray both his anger and his pain. It just didn't have any emotional impact.

A BIG positive is the setting and the location and such. It's perfect and so nice!

I really hate how heavily CGI'd Al's armour and Ed's arm and leg are. I don't understand why they didn't just build very realistic looking armour, have black clothes underneath so a stuntman/body-actor could wear it as Al and Yamada could've just pwore the armour. I feel like they were actual props BUT you can tell they've put CGI OVER it and it just looked stupid. Japan is well-known for tokusatsu costumes and you could've easily gone 100% realistic with Al's armour and it would've looked GOOD.

They do change the story somewhat but not enough to not be faithful to the original material.

While I do love Atomu, since watching the anime (last week) and actually becoming a fan of FMA, I totally understand and I am now in agreement with my friend that they should've just had the original voice actor for Al in the movie rather than Atomu BUT I do understand in the END GAME why Atomu is needed.

Winry can eff off. I've never liked the actress who plays her and she's in this MORE than she is in the anime. I don't even like the character in the anime so the fact they extended her part somewhat in this just annoyed me.

I don't like Hawkeye's actress or look either. It's clearly a wig. Why couldn't the actress just grow and dye her own hair? It'd look better. But any, recast her please.

Casting I AM happy about: Hughes!!! They picked the perfect actor for him! Even without seeing him in costume, I could tell he was a good choice. BUT, and it's a big 'but', the entire casting in general is too old. They've casted everyone 10-20years older than the actual characters ages. And I totally understand WHY. You need these big names in order to get a big budget, in order to get a lot of funding - I KNOW why Yamada was casted; more for the money rather than for him actually suiting the role <<< lets all admit this okay. I get it. We all get how the movie industry works. Especially with this movie being filmed via Warner Brothers, it was definitely more about 'hire the big actors so we get more money to play with' rather than hiring better, more accurate, faithfully-aged actors. So for the most part I am not annoyed with who was casted because this is the business. It happens. Don't get me wrong, Yamada did alright and he does have the voice which is just nice to listen to. When he's explaining or speaking fast, Yamada sounds REALLY damn good. But I can just think of a few other actors who would've suited, looked and acted the role better (COUGH COUGH UEDA KEISUKE FOR STARTERS!). And like, I LOVE KANATA HONGO but NOT as Envy. No no no no no no no not a good choice. Appearance wise; yes he fits Envy; his looks bratty, his skinny and he's somewhat short but the way he plays Envy and his voice; just no. You'd have better look getting a young actress to play Envy. Yes, I did just say actress. Especially because Envy is supposed to be GENDERFLUID!

BUT in general, I do not like MOST of this casting. I can think of a billion other people who would've been better in the role of Ed (no offence Yamada), I can think of so many more people who would've been perfect for Mustang (he is my baby, they ruined him in the movie; wrong casting completely). BUT then my friend said 'but would they haven't wanted to do this movie?' to which I straight away said 'good point, they wouldn't have accepted the role' and in fact they probably weren't even offered the role because; as I keep saying BIG NAMES = MORE MORE.

Ooooohhhh they RUINED Hughes' death! They CHANGED who the hell killed him!! AGAIN how are they going to fix and work around this in the future movie(s)?!

OMG that is HILARIOUS!!! SO the scene right AFTER Hughes' death we get Atomu-ception! We have Atomu playing a soldier arresting Ed while he stands next to Al who he bloody voices AND the soldier himself have BLONDE hair and just omg... what the fuck?! WHY and HOW did you think that was a good idea Warner?! That's gunna fuck people up for the ending for those who DON'T know Atomu

OH! NOT ENOUGH SMALL JOKES! And to be honest, I don't even think Yamada is that short! I don't think we get enough shots with him standing next to or near other people in a wide shot and stuff for us to go 'OH HE SMOL!'.

ALSO; WHERE THE EFF IS SCAR?!?!!?! WHERE IS SCAR?!?!?!!? He's SO important in the story and you didn't bother to introduce him in the first movie?! His first few fights with Ed are AMAZING! WHY is he not here?! WHY is he not in the movie?!

OMMGGG my friend was right about how BAD CGI and stuff is for Gluttony's real mouth. And his WADDLING! OMG his WADDLING was so funny.

They focused WAY to much on making Mustang and Hawkeye a THING. In the anime, they stay VERY professional for the most part. We understand they have romantic feels for each other but in public 99% of the time (and even in private!) they stay completely professional and 'we have police of this country'-type stance.

WAIT WHAT??!?!?! MUSTANG BURNING ROSS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?! HOW THEY GOING TO EXPLAIN THAT AWAY?!?! WAAAAHHHHH THE ACTUAL?! .... WAIT WHAT?! THEY RUINED THE ENTIRE ENVY PLOT IN THE FIRST MOVIE?!

And I got SO confused when Al started having a go at Ed for 'I'm not real am I' and I'm like 'bitch this part of the story doesn't happen for AGES!!! What the hell?!' Also Lab 5 was just trash in this movie. AND Al goes off only about an hour into the film; we BARELY know these characters. There was no emotional impact at all. Just nothing. We haven't spent enough time getting to know these characters for this scene to work and make people cry at this point.

WAIT WHAT?! TUCKER IS STILL ALIVE AND HAS KIDNAPPED AL AND WINRY?! WTH is this plot line?!?!?!

Okay, kudos to Yamada for his scream acting when the Transmutation circle and the way to create Philosopher Stones are revealed. That was REALLY good.

WAIT WHAT?!?!? They revealed the ENTIRE soul army already?!?!?!!? That's not until like the LAST ten episodes of the anime! WTF.... Ohhh and the CGI for them is NOT good....

I am SO confused.... Mustang took the philosopher's stone out of Lust but that's not how you kill her!! You have to actually DESTROY the stone. If it's not destroyed by FMA RULES she's supposed to be able to reconstruct herself! WTF?! Why are they ignore this very important logic and basic rule?!

Whhhhyyyyyy did Ed use the stone?!?!? WHAT THE ACTUAL?!?! NOOOOO Ed you wtf?!?! That's not even canon!!!! WAAAAAAH?!?!

I wonder who they hired for Al's body... cos that DEFO isn't Atomu! << Again, how is this going to work if voice Al already looked this different to body Al?!

To be honest, FMA is too loved and too long for it to be a series of movies. If FMA was to get Live-Actioned it should've, right from the start, been a stage series. That's the only way they would've fit everything in and done justice to the story, and been able to do projection mapping and be able to go great action scenes using stunts and stunt equipment, and also in general, better and younger actors for the roles.

[silenceofthemongooses]

hi! I hope I'm not bothering you but I can see ur attending CU. I'm planning on applying to either the school of art or engineering, but I'm leaning more towards art. I'm really at a loss when it comes to applying, home tests,and the general enviorment of the school.. and what to do after I graduate so I was just curious on what that's all like :0 sorry for making this so long .. thank u for ur time!

OMG THIS IS THE ASK I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE I LOVE TALKING ABOUT COOPER

i’m putting it under a readmore bc it got crazy long??? i’m not even to the part where i yell about applications yet and it’s like ten paragraphs lmao

so. 

first things first. 

i applied to cooper in the first place because when i took the tour (best fucking college tour i took the whole time, by the way. all of the guides LOVE cooper and they love telling you about it, so if you get a chance, defo go on the tour bc theyre way more honest and you get a better feel for the school than on any other tour) one of the things that they emphasized was the student community., one told me that once when she walked into the EE lab and asked to borrow someone’s phone charger because hers had frayed so badly it wasn’t working. not only did someone give her a charger, but they fixed her charger until she could get a new one. 

and when i got here, it’s totally fucking true. cooper is a community in every definition of the word. everyone is totally willing to help you in any way that they can, because that’s the kind of people that cooper admits and then fosters that behavior. 

now. the reason they foster this behavior is because it’s a fucking hard school. the standard course load for a freshman engineer first semester is 18.5 credits, spread out over 7 classes plus a professional seminar. and yeah, some of those are only one or two credit classes, but they still have homework and class time. it is a rigorous schedule that only gets harder. professor alan wolf (physics, more on him later maybe? i have him next semester, we’ll see if the Rumors are true) said at an engineering faculty panel that he wants physics to be moved to first semester of freshman year (instead of second) because the transition from “an easy first semester” to a semester with physics and calc 2 was too difficult for a lot of students. everyone around me groaned when he said the first semester was easy. 

and this is just the engineering school! the art school is hard as hell too. keep in mind that what i know about the art program is just synthesized from talking to art students and not at all from personal experience. but. 

the first year of art is a foundation year. they assume you don’t know anything, and break you down to basics. the art ra in the dorms said her freshman year was incredibly hard for her both as an artist and as a person just because she was confronted with all these other talented people and having to face that she wasn’t The Artist in school anymore. i regularly leave the student lounge (menschel) at two in the morning only for art kids to walk in, holding all of their materials (although, not anymore, since someone got charcoal all over the tables in 3a lmao) and settling in for another all-nighter. 

cooper is a culture of intense rigor and stress, and there is no overcoming that. but it’s also a culture of community and supporting each other. it’s a really specific kind of school that some people find just isn’t for them. 

also, cooper is like, really small. like. very small. here are some of the things you will encounter because of cooper union’s limited budget and facilities, and which you basically have to accept:

no dining hall. there’s frankie’s cafe in the new academic building (also known as the engineering building, most commonly referred to as the nab) but otherwise there is absolutely no meal plan. frankie’s has like, sandwiches and muffins and bagels and (terrible) coffee, but it is in no way a full college dining hall. 

no gym. i think at one point we were allowed to use nyu’s facilities? no longer. almost everyone i know belongs to a gym. i myself visit the planet fitness on union square maaaybe once a month when i guilt myself into it. blink is a popular option. if you’re willing to spare the cash equinox is also there. crunch is the one that everyone kind of makes fun of but like it’s super close so go for it if you want. 

small supporting staff. this is both a blessing and a curse. i know everyone in the student affairs office by first name and usually they know me. i think at this point i’ve met everyone in the financial aid department. cool, because it means that they know me. bad, because it means i’ve had to talk to all of them to figure out what the hell is going on with my scholarships and how much money i actually know. this is not a school where there are online systems in place to fix any problems you have. you have to be your own advocate to the administration, and as much as they desperately want to help you, a lot of the time it comes down to just making sure your paperwork goes through. good news is you almost never have to make an appointment to talk to someone you just show up. 

very little interaction between the schools. there are three schools. art, architecture, and engineering. engineering is by far the most populated, followed by art, then architecture. if i didn’t live with two artists, i would never talk to anyone in art or architecture. yes, the hss classes are multidisciplinary, but just statistically, engineers far outweigh the artists. there weren’t even any architects in my hss1 class. if you don’t make the effort to reach out beyond your school, it straight up doesn’t happen. 

sometimes when you go to the basics plus to get some hangers because you ordered too many shirts online and now they’re just kind of shoved in your drawers and when the cashier asks if you have a student id and you pull out your cooper id she’s like “oh! is that local?” and you have to smile and say yes and when you walk out of the store you can see the foundation building down third with absolutely no problem

there’s more and i’ll think of them later but this is good for now

ANYWAYS i have a lot more thoughts on the culture of cooper??? but i think i’m going to leave it here because this is a decent overview of how i feel and what the most important parts are. 

now.

for applying.

again, i applied to and am in the engineering school. everything i know about the art school is based on talking to art students

also, i am in no way affiliated with the actual admissions department and the following is just based on my experiences as someone who applied and talking to other people who applied

also at first i thought you were applying this cycle and i was like. honey. this is not enough time for either application

BUT THEN i put an ounce more thought into it and realized not everyone younger than me is a high school senior lmao

anyways!

both applications are really intensive. to get art out of the way (sorry art) it’s a series of prompts that you have to create a piece in response to. some artists i know got crazy super stressed about it, and pulled so many all nighters, and skipped a lot of homework to do it, and overall just did not enjoy it. one of my artist roommates, however, said that she actually really enjoyed the process? she just let herself create without worrying “is this what will get me in?” and felt that it was a really great experience. 

either way, you’re going to have an interesting experience. 

for the engineering writing prompts, it’s a goddamn marathon. there were nine, i think, when i applied? i applied to eleven schools and i had to write seventeen supplements. the ratio of supplement-to-school was way off and its all cooper’s fault lmao

there isn’t a word minimum, but there is a word maximum per essay, a fact i discovered as i was copy-pasting mine into the commonapp from my googledocs file. i think the max is 500 words? not positive tho don’t quote me

anyways they’re all fairly standard questions. like, nothing out of the blue like chicago’s or whatever. but keep in mind that this is honestly where you’re going to get admitted. a lot of people apply to cooper. and a lot of those people will have the same exact stats as you (btw, sat/act scores and gpa matter slightly more for engineers than for artists and architects) and the way to distinguish yourself is through your writing. cooper admits you as a person because they believe you’ll add to their community and then to the world, not because you got a perfect score on whatever. 

so i, at least, let myself be a little freer in my cooper essays than in any other supplement. some of them i could answer right away (why cooper? why engineering?) and some of them i had to think about for a few days. the last one i wrote was the “tell us about something you read recently”. i wrote about staying up until three in the morning reading a novel and crying. i wrote it the next day because i realized that’s like, exactly who i am as a person. 

the biggest tip i have for writing these essays in general (not just for cooper) is to watch food network star or something similar. the contestants get prompted on how to hook an audience (hey, you want to do that too!) in a short amount of time (word count) and tell a story that relates to both them and their food (a story that relates to you and and why you’re going to be a bombass cooper student) like, just watch a few, and then you’ll kind of have the flow of it down, and you can figure out how to work it into your own writing

just like, really show who you are. i know it can be tempting to put on this facade, and to a certain extent you should (do not, for example, tell them about the time you got so drunk you pissed your pants) but do your best to express yourself, in either application. 

um anyways i am always down to talk about any aspect of The Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, so if you ever want any more info on anything, hit up my inbox!

my points of expertise include the dorms, classes, stanislav mintchev the greatest math professor in the history of the world, ray’s pizza, sitting in the engineering student council meetings and listening to all the Hot Goss, and more

i mighttttt end up putting up like “a week in my life” post at some point because i always think those are cool and maybe it would be neato

we’ll see

(if anyone want to see that…… or anything else……. lmk……..)

[considermygenderminecrafted]

I defo agree w/ the point that they shouldn't force communities to be anarchist via force when the citizens don't want it and they community is not a threat to those outside. Cause like, no one should do that, regardless of wealth or experience

I guess the point I was tryna make it that they haven't done that, and don't seem to plan to - both as the syndicate, and as individuals.

We can see in how they relate to anarchy that, they ain't exactly been blowing shit up that has nothing to do with them. Techno was a part of the revolution and he'd been misled and used, quackity made it clear NLM was gonna hunt techno down till he was dead that phil would not be allowed to care about techno and be safe, if we're tryna extrapolate the syndicates actions from Phil and Techno.

As the syndicate, with snowchester, nowt happened cause nothing was wrong (as far as they could see) Even with the eggpire, while ranboo and techno investigated and saw some dodgy shit, no one intervened til people asked them to. They've never interfered without investigating first.

And techno understands this. He does turn away from pacficism as it becomes clear either he and phil die or NLM does, but in his retirement arc he talks about this specifically:

“You just can’t free people who don’t wanna be freed, I think the real way to achieve our goals … is to prove that our ideals are the best [x] I-I’ll stop being like a terrorist, it just ain’t- it just ain’t convincin nobody, they just keep makin new governments. I still believe that governments are no good. They’re just ruinin everything, but people are free to make their own mistakes at this point [x]

To be perfectly honest, i think there is something to be said that they are able to be stable and wealthy using the philosophy of non-coercion and not stealing from each other is worth noting? Apart from techno, none of the them were particually well off within the systems they rally against, but now they have the capacity to be.

But you're correct in saying that doesn't give them the right to enforce that on others.

We also are sorta rubbing up against a bit on the issue that I, as an anarchist, believe all hierarchies are inherently harmful, but I think this stands without you having to agree with that.

In reference to the Original post about syndicate and wealth [link], the syndicate being stable and wealthy doesn't negate them from having good ideas nor give them the right to do whatever they want to people.

I just don't think there's masses of reason to think they're gonna do that.

I’d like a source of the syndicate’s manifesto saying that their way of life is the Best way and the way for everyone. Or thinking they are the server’s “moral compass”

If you think the syndicate is trying to play hero then you are misunderstanding the syndicate.

[qrhymes]

Death Note (2017) –What means being a good adaptation?

Keep the soul, the spirit of the original work.

I know this answers is vague and not really a factor in the goodness of a movie ‘cause you can still be faithful to the original themes of a work and still suck (The suckiness can take a plenitude of forms), however I firmly believe that the first step to be called a good adaptation (not necessarily a good movie or series or whatever) is breath the same air and meaning of your source material even if the plot, the story or even your character change in the process (That’s the reason that the so called “Spiritual adaptations” are a thing).

So, what are the elements that this movie needs in the first place to be called a good adaptation?

The original Death Note, to me at least, it’s a story about how “absolute power corrupts absolutely”; you give the power to decide who lives and dies to a teenager that subsequently becomes, in the spawn of a few day, in a full time sociopath (And yes, one of my absolute problems with the original is the lack of a natural transition between Light and Kira, but you can argue that that was the point) with a god complex.

I know that a lot of people see the series as a study of morality, a conflict between ideologies; the means justify the end, etc. However I have never been able to see this part of the conflict because the series never explore it’s moral dilemma beyond the superficiality of “Is It right to kill criminals?” that is and interesting and deep question that could sustain an entire work however the thing gets reduced to a “if you are not with me you are against me”.

Death Note is juvenile work and its simplicity in how develop its main question proves it…however, even if its wannabe main theme its underwhelming, Death Note still has a lot of goods and greats during its run.

The hypocrisy and the delusion of Light are great pieces for a tale how power corrupt, the entirely Kira cult, our perception of justice and the hypocrisy in those system it’s another interesting point, Ryuk as the wild card of the series is fantastic, the entire Kira task force is amazing and, at least for me, the great savior of the series.

L becomes what Light never could, a morally gray figure, that actually have weight in a morally ambiguous story of the meaning justice and what is right. L may be in the role of the traditional good guy, however he’s selfish detective that only take the cases that he finds interesting, a man that keeps in line with the law but is not afraid to push that lines to its limit, despite his gimmicks and status as a Sherlock Holmes 2.0 L comes along as a very flawed individual, not really seeking justice for the hundreds of thousand, but just challenge for his intellect. The Kira case is a passion project from him…Not really what you could call a hero, however in this kind of work it’s exactly what we needed, a hero antagonist with a lot of shades of black, whose sheer charisma and personality make, maybe not a paragon, but a compelling and lovable character that a lot of people, me include it, fell in love with.

Finally Death Note is a great mystery series, a tense police drama with genuinely thrilling mind games, an incredible pace and an overall fun ride with a ton of memorable scenes and twist, Death Note is a lot of thing and addictive as fuck is one of them, the flow of the series is so good and that is one of the better aspect of the series, what makes it so accessible is a well put and enjoyable show…so how many of these points got checked in the movie.

…Well Ryuk was…actually pretty great…

Ryuk is easily the best part of this movie, he is creepy, unsettling, menacing but also a lot of fun to have around and his character is the closest to his counterpart. I also like how the movie treats him.

He is different; less cooperative, less friendly, more malevolent but still this guy that it’s doing what it’s doing just for the lulz, and his final delivery “You humans are so fun” close his character in a really high note.

And yes, a lot of the credit goes to Defoe’s performance. I don’t know if he gives a fuck about the source material but it doesn’t matter, he is having a blast with role and so are we.

So Ryuk was fantastic…the rest of the film not so much.

There are a lot of issues here, but in general we can summarize all in two great issues. First, the movie it’s afraid to actual challenge the audience, is a tame product, one that goes for the secure route, lacking a lot of the boldness of the original material.

Even if you want to think the best of Light, he still was playing at least the role of anti-villain, someone that has do what he has to do to accomplish his objective, it’s his choice to use the Death Note, to kill criminals, the people that chase him and even his own followers when they stop being useful to him (And don’t we forget the sheer placer that the guy has with out-smarting his opponents. Yes you can argue that some kills were a necessary evil, however he enjoy some of those kills too much for someone that was still claiming that was doing all of that for the greater good). And yes, the ultimate power to kill is a factor of seduction, of course. However is still a choice that Light makes on its own…here he has to be convinced to use the note, first from Ryuk invoking dream like sensations and power fantasies and then by Mia which apparently is getting off from using the note…I mean, leaving aside that Light was probably asexual and aromantic, him using the note here feels more like he trying to impress her that trying to clean the world from criminals and yes, I don’t buy that part of his characterization in the original work, but that part built up in his hypocrisy.

Meanwhile here Light it’s treated more like a victim of circumstance, that tries to avoid targeting innocent people and just going as far as I goes just because the influence of Ryuk and Mia

Apple anyone?

This what I mean that its more tame or secure, the movie goes all the way trying to make Light likable, justifiable and innocent that forgets to add the aspect that make his original counterpart interesting, either as the idealistic young man that falls from grace trying to make the world a better place or the hypocrite, self-centered teenager that justify his murder rampage with delusions of justice. Both are great in the own right, Light Turner however, he is just another protagonist.

However trying to make Light good is just one side of the badness of this movie, the other side is, well, make L look like the bad guy.

As I said before, the magic of L is that he pulls out the character that Light never could and it is just painful seeing get butchered in this version.

L in this version is just a weirdo that likes sweets a lot, seats in weird positions and covers his faces, and yes the original L was that…in the surface.

That’s the second biggest problem of the film; it’s an adaptation of Death Note, but just in the surface.

L was great not because he was quirky or adorkable or hot, he was great because he has a role in the story, he was a contrast to Light (A contrast that doesn’t exist in this version), a perspective in the meaning justice (a side that not is precisely completely innocent or even all that lawful or good) and an interest take in the hero-antagonist.

In the movie L gets stripped from his “sympathetic inspector antagonist” and demoted to a full “inspector Javert” trying to murder Light in the quart of the movie. L it’s just another detective, there is not substance to his character, he wants to resolve the case ‘cause this is what he does. The only attempts to go with something with him is his breakdown after Watari is killed but that twist just make his character even more cliché, becomes it striped him completely of his anti-hero status to become the villain…I mean the secondary villain for the sake of…the Hollywood Formula?

This L is not really a bad or a shitty character, his problem,  in the same way that with Light, is that he is just another character, unmemorable, bland and lacking any kind of role or meaning aside of being a secondary antagonist

I would talk about Mia/Misa, but her character it’s so far away of her original depiction that it would be pointless.

Mia is a weird thing really. Not only is her introduction forced as fuck.

I mean the whole scene was something like “Hey wanna see me kill some random people”.

But the really confusing part just comes in her character. I mean what is she? A sociopath? Is she drunk with power? Is she using Light for that reason? Or the Note just makes her wet? And then the movie makes her the Big Bad, with a really stupid plan and a death also kind of stupid. A twist for the sake of a twist that only serves to cement Light as a great schemer in the last minute…as a character she was the worst in the whole film. She was in the movie because she was Misa counterpart but she has no purpose other than make Light more likeable.

…

Do you remember how tense a suspenseful the anime/manga was? There is not of that here.

Death Note was thrilling supernatural drama, with a lot of twist and turns, mind games and, overall, a great police series. As I said in the begging one of the best things of Death Note is how its flows.

Death note 2017, it’s not a mystery, it’s not a police drama, even the supernatural elements are reduced to their minimum…And it comes down to the begging, the great problem is that this is just a very tame superficial adaptation, the note, the candies, the shinigamis, the KEIKAKUs, but without the substance or the style (Even the genre) that make the original first half so great.

[shadowtearling]

January is over! I’m both glad and surprised it came and went so quickly. I feel proud of myself for reading as much as I did this month!!!! I think the new year is always a good motivator to read read read. I love it. I’m doing a better job so far this year of reading whenever I can and taking advantage of my spare time in between and before classes. PLUS the long commute helps. Last year, I constantly found reason to NOT read, and this year, it’s like I can’t get enough! I also apparently can’t get enough of the exclamation point. Is it too much? Also! Do you all like this new banner? Any font suggestions? I’m clearly terrible at picking fonts; too indecisive. :( Anyway! On to the books!!!

Rating system: 2017 is the year of reading critically if I want to add diversity to my list of priorities for the kind books to be reading. This means also being a little more stingy with my ratings. (I don’t feel bad about this actually. I found I feel guiltier giving out five stars willy nilly, so this is an improvement!). This rating system is still arbitrary, so three star ratings don’t always have the same weight to them. As always, I rate based on my own thoughts and feelings, and as always, these are my opinions (unless I’m speaking about my marginalization(s). Don’t argue lmao). 

Rating Scale: 🌟 - 1 whole star ⭐️ - ½ star

Nichijou: My ordinary life (Vol. 1 & 2) by Keiichi Arawi - 🌟  🌟  🌟  = 3/5  (for both) This is a manga series about high school everyday life, but with a twist! (she said with sarcasm) There are a bunch of girls in high school and one of them happens to be a robot who just wants to fit in and be human (and her child scientist companion). One of the girls also happens to love making puns, one of them is the typical deadpan-type of characters, and the others are the normal ones. Some jokes were funny, most of them were not. I love puns, but this just had really terrible ones. The characters were supremely uninteresting, and I really don’t care about any of them. That said, while I was reading this, I guess I was entertained for the time being. This helps pass time quickly, but not the greatest manga I’ve ever encountered. 

Sweetness and Lightning (Vol. 1) by Gido Amagakure - 🌟  🌟  🌟   = 3/5  What’s better than food-related manga? Nothing! Except, I can find better food-related manga out there than this lmao. This was fun to read, but I found all of the characters were bland. I couldn’t find myself too invested in their stories. I also feel like this is going in the direction of student-teacher relationship (younger me would have loved that, but me now is absolutely creeped out by the idea of it). The child is adorable, though. I also do really love the positive relationship between the child and the dad, so that’s one redeeming quality. I don’t think I’ll continue with this series, though, unless I find copies of this for cheaps. 

Orange (Omnibus Vol. 1 & 2) by Ichigo Takano - 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 = 5/5 (for both) Out of all 12 books I’ve read this month, these are the only two five-star reads! I’m stingy lmao. Anyway, this was soooooooo good! Basically, this series is about this girl, Naho, who on the first day of her junior year (I THINK... don’t hold me to this), she receives a letter from future her telling her what will happen on those days and what she needs to do versus what she should avoid doing. She dismisses that letter until the contents come true! So this series then entails what happens with those letters and Naho & her friends. I cried so many tears and felt so many feelings. I related so hard to Kakeru even though our struggles were not the same. I also really loved the ending (even though I know a lot of people didn’t like how open-ended it was). I appreciated that aspect of the story because it feels true to the kind of tale it’s telling. It perfectly depicts how friends first react versus how they should react to other friends’ struggles. I really love the dynamics between every person, and I can only wish this series was longer to explore the different friendships we were introduced to. I HIGHLY recommend this series. Please go read it! (And then tell me so we can binge-watch the anime together!)

Something in Between by Melissa de la Cruz - 🌟  🌟  🌟  ⭐️   = 3.5/5  A story with a Filipina lead?! Sign me up! This tells the story of Jasmine who is the perfect student and is set to kick ass in college until she learns that her and her entire family have been illegal immigrants the entire time, and this super awesome scholarship she was supposed to get can no longer help her. I really loved getting to see my own culture reflected in this story (this is an #ownvoices ;) so go check it out). I didn’t appreciate the little jabs at other cultures though I do understand where it comes from. I also think there was so much happening? I feel like Jasmine and her fam were trying to tackle so much all at once (it’s realistic bc what POC doesn’t go thru so much in so little time), but also it made for a messy story. OH! I hated the writing lmao. It was tacky and not my style. I also think I’m just hella tired of YA contemporaries, but as of right now, they’re the biggest source for diversity in any YA category. Fantasy is still far too white lol. I still would recommend this because it is an important story that helps humanize immigrants, but beware lmao.

Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli- 🌟  🌟  🌟  = 3/5  I really enjoyed this story, but I was expecting so much more than what I was given. I hear everyone always raving about how fantastic this book was, but I think this was way too overhyped for me, which is why I didn’t like it as much as everyone else. I feel like the tension between friends was either unnecessary or done poorly (I’m talking about Leah here). HOWEVER, I still do like it. Simon was a fun character, and Blue was also really interesting. I also really love the discussion around consent and identity, and I think it was done well. 

Welcome to the Shadowhunter Academy (#1) by Cassandra Clare - 🌟  🌟  🌟  = 3/5  Simon felt reaaaaaally out of character in this novella. Maybe that’s bc of what happened at the end of TMI and that’s a valid excuse, but it makes me uncomfortable. Simon was one of the better characters in that series, and I really feel like he got butchered here. With that said, however, I do think that this novella shows improvement in CC’s writing because I still surprisingly enjoyed it. I just don’t think I’ll continue on with CC’s works? I think this is me breaking up with the Shadowhunter chronicles. She’s also highly problematic, so there’s that. 

The Star Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi - 🌟  🌟  🌟  🌟  🌟  = 4/5 LOVE This! An #Ownvoices fantasy about Mayavati whose horoscope entails a marriage with death and destruction. I buddy read this one with one of my really close friends (she doesn’t read too often), and we both really enjoyed it. Maya is this really dynamic character that, as the story progresses, really matures in a realistic way. The writing was phenomenal but I do think it was a bit out of place? Idk I always have problems whenever the writing is sophisticated but then it’s first person POV. Like.... I’m pretty positive that my brain cannot conceive even half of those words to describe what’s happening around me. I’d see a tree and I’d describe it as “green and really tall...” So there’s that. I also think that the writing kind of made it difficult to fall in love with the couple. I didn’t totally buy the romance, despite me loving both characters individually. I love the incorporation of different aspects of Indian culture as part of the fantasy elements of the world. I would love more from this story, but as it stands, this is where Maya’s story ends (the next book is actually a companion........). I highly recommend it! (Even though it sounds like I didn’t like it lmao I promise I did).

Three Dark Crowns by Kendare Blake - 🌟  🌟  🌟  🌟  🌟  = 4/5 I absolutely loved this. First of all, I appreciate that I can tell each sister apart from one another because they have such distinct personalities (Arisonoe is my fave as it turns out even if she has a dumb ass name). It’s a super slow book that basically builds up to the fight to the death (it doesn’t actually happen in this book). I knew that going in which is why I wasn’t salty when it didn’t happen. Basically, we get introduced to the sisters in this book, find out that there are some hella issues going on with their missing powers, and it gave us time to get used to the world all while introducing us to the characters. My number one biggest giant complaint is that I realllllly fucking hate Joseph. He’s an asshat and I hope he dies in book two. Katharine please kill him. There was an unnecessary love triangle lmao like fuck off with that shit maybe. I also hated Pietyr. So basically, the dudes are assholes and the girls are fantastic. Maybe that was the point? This is a matriarchal society so I guess it worked. Highly recommend if you really like politically-driven books and a large cast of characters.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seannan McGuire - 🌟  🌟  🌟  ⭐️   = 3.5/5 The writing is quite calming. Also confusing. This is another one of those far too hyped for me to love in the same way everyone else does. i appreciate the amazing concept and the wonderful conversations taking place in this book about identity, sexuality, gender, and mental illness. However, it was too short for me to really love any of the characters. I certainly failed to connect with the MC and didn’t feel for her anguish. It also left a bad taste in my mouth that the first person to be killed off in the murder mystery aspect happens to be POC when there were like 20 other white kids lmao........ NOT THAT I CONDONE MURDER but why we gotta kill POC for....... Idk. Proceed with caution I guess. 

Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe- 🌟  🌟  🌟  = 3/5  This was funny as hell. Basically, it’s about this lady whose name we never really know because she keeps changing it to suit her needs. She was born in a prison, so she’s set up to fail in every aspect of her life bc poor and no family. HOWEVER, this is the story of how she eventually says fuck you to everyone and succeeds anyway bc why not. I read this for class, and I highly enjoyed it. Problems: there were literally zero chapter breaks, random ass capitalization (why must 17/18th century authors do this to me), too many much cataloging of goods (though that was literally the point is to be excessive... I get it... pls stop), and the author basically just said to the plot “GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO” without taking a break. If you like classics similar to Jane Austen (but without the romance part bc she just basically scams all her husbands lmao), I think this is a really good one to check out. 

Thank you, lovely, for reading through this mess of a post. I love you and I hope you have a wonderful February reading month!